I’m rushing around getting ready to leave for a two-week writing conference. I’ll tell you about that once I’m on the road but I thought you might want to take a look at a Web site I’ve been working on for some nice folks I’ve never met face-to-face. It’s CAKE! Yummy!
Climate Adaptation Knowledge Exchange
It’s all about global warming and doing something about it. The planet’s getting warmer; best to have a plan. Take a look!
Four years ago I was sitting in a bar in Prague when the US team was eliminated from the World Cup by Ghana. It was a crappy game; Ghana scored early and spent the rest of the time lying on the grass. Not the sort of game that could endear futbol to the American masses.
This morning I was geeking away in my office when the neighbor turned on the World Cup. Loud. In Spanish. My neighbor is not a native Spanish speaker as far as I know. As long as I was listening to the game, I decided to watch it. It didn’t take long before I realized why the neighbor chose the Spanish channel. I’m sticking with the English-speaking commentators myself, however, for comedic value.
It’s halftime as I write this, and Ghana is winning. Will they spend the second half lying on the ground pretending to be hurt? We don’t know yet. I’ve heard tell that this tournament is much less baby-filled than the one four years ago. In a totally unrelated bit of news, Italy and France, the two teams that competed for the championship last time, have been eliminated.
I’m curious to see whether the Japanese team spends time lying on the ground crying like a babies. Macho cultures like Argentina have no shame on the field, but Japanese culture is all about shame, and the avoidance thereof. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Japanese played a hard-nosed sort of soccer that would be (somewhat) more pleasant to watch.
OK, the second half has started. I’ll keep a running commentary, updating this page as I make my insightful observations.
Minute 47 – big chance for the good guys, good block, followed by a period of the us team milling around the perimeter waiting for someone on the Ghana team to switch sides, or something.
49:01 – a collision! They both got up and kept playing! Incredible!
50:45 – is it me, or is this ref in the way more than most? He’s not favoring either side, I’d say, equally in the way for both.
50:05 – Ghana showing they know how to just take the damn shot. Our boys should learn from that.
53:40 – Nice chance for the US. That’s the kind of pressure they need.
54:40 – Oh, crap, now it’s one of our guys lying on the ground. “He landed awkwardly,” the announcer said. Yeah, right. Dempsey wanted a whistle.
56:20 – Another US ankle-grab-to-get-a-whistle play. The Ghana player scorned him. As he should have.
59:45 – Announcer: The USA have to score. It’s that kind of insight that justifies bringing in a Brit to help with the broadcast.
61:50 – GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! I was typing my last pithy comment and missed what caused the penalty kick, but the US collects.
64:25 – American announcer: He’s really stepped up his game. He’s approached it, he’s come up to… dammit, I don’t remember what he said. Let’s just say that the American guy is not going to be outdone by the Brit.
64:40 – Awesome work by the Ghana goalkeeper.
68:15 – get off the lawn!
74:00 – I’m too slow at typing to get the announcer’s stupid comments down before they say something else and I forget the first one. Right now they’re just chatting on about some player’s gloves.
74:50 – you know what makes a fascinating game? Two teams dicking around at midfield, showing no apparent desire to score. That’s what I like in a sporting contest.
75:50 – and as I typed that, a big chance for the US.
76:30 – get up, you wimp!
77:10 – oh, wait, he really is hurt. He came off and was replaced. I’d feel bad but let’s face it, I had a right to be skeptical.
78:30 – Oh, I love overdramatic announcers, too! Brit Announcer: Can the United States do it? Followed by more blahblahblah.
80:10 – Looked like a big chance for the US. I think the US guy was thinking too much about drawing a penalty and not enough about putting his boot on the ball. Almost scored anyway.
84:55 – You know what else is missing from this game? Endless offside traps by the US. They just did the first one of the half. Good riddance.
89:30 – Cleats to the chest brings a Ghana player down. Is he really hurt? His recovery was swift, I’ll say that.
91:00 – lame-ass yellow card against Ghana. FIFA should have a way to reverse calls like that; the guy will miss the next match because of it.
92:30 – US seems content to wait until the overtime period. Ghana on the attack!
93:30 – on a corner kick with no time left: “The US must defend this one well.” The Brit went on to explain that if they give up the winning goal with no time left they will lose. Really?
94 – Overtime! And the advertisers rejoice!
90:00 – It will be interesting to see if conditioning plays a role in overtime. The team with a little burst left in their legs will have a big advantage.
91:50 – the US goaltender kicks the ball to the Ghana goaltender. No one seemed interested in getting in the way.
94:40 – Ghana gets a breakaway goal! US defense caught napping and split down the middle. Trouble for the good guys.
95:25 – Brit: “this is where reputations are made. Some, broken. Ask the French and Italians.” American: “At some point you have to go and meet the parents.” (American quote may be inaccurate – they were coming too fast.)
96:45 – and Ghana is on the turf. The stretchers are out. Here we go.
98:05 – Brit: How many times can the US keep going to the well? Keep coming up with an answer? Keep digging up old clichés?
99:30 – Ghana on the turf again. This is what sport is all about.
100:34 – Ghana player goes down, ref not looking. He gets back up.
101:58 – Ghana dicking around more. Announcers saying the ref has to keep the game moving. Like that happens.
104:35 – US still not above a bit of turf work to try to draw a whistle.
105:35 – Announcers have gone into full “apologize for the US performance” mode. They’re conditioned to go 90 minutes. They’ve had to come from behind too many times. And so forth.
105:00 – American “If you see things happening, and you get there with your energy, you can really make good things happen.”
105:40 – Brit: “Forget the prep games, this is the real thing.”
106:20 – One guess who’s lying on the grass right now.
107:50 – US player manages to get into the penalty box before falling down, but only manages to draw a direct kick.
110:10 – Ghana player down for no apparent reason. US played on while they could. Here come the stretchers.
111:44 – still wasting time, Ghana player got up off the stretcher and seems ready to come back in.
112:30 – Ghana taking a full minute to sub a player. The clock ticks on. This is a serious flaw in the sport.
114:20 – It sounds like the British announcer doesn’t think it’s worth playing the rest of the game.
115:20 – Let’s see how long it takes for Ghana to get this kick in… about 30 seconds. I expected worse.
118:30 – I think the US players agree with the British announcer.
119:20 – US chance, then after the play a Ghana player sits down – he didn’t fall, mind you, and he wasn’t knocked over. He sat down. Where’s his teammate? The one who taunted the US player for going down. He’s got to straighten out his teammate! Happily he doesn’t get a whistle.
120:10 – an exciting moment as the US goalie tries to score.
And that’s all. Probably a better game than four years ago, but the same result. Perhaps, though, this game will do a slightly better job of selling soccer in the US than the World Cup did four years ago.
Both Ghana goals looked to me like defensive breakdowns by the US, but maybe that’s just the way soccer is. There were some long tedious parts that the announcers filled with blather, but maybe that’s the way announcers are. Now we return this blog to more interesting sports.
I’ll be in Kansas for the first half of July, attending a writing workshop. Big fun! Apparently some of the big names in Science Fiction are bigger than I thought, as they have arranged to have a comet fly by to announce the beginning of the session. Way to go, Jim!
Astronomy Picture of the Day is my new favorite RSS feed. Almost never disappointing.
I’ve written quite a bit about my participation in the Cyberspace Open, and Long ago fuego and I were winners at the Duke City Shootout. Here’s a contest that combines the two: The 48-Hour film Project. You are given prompt, a prop, and a couple of other constraints, and in the next 48 hours you write, produce, and edit your entry.
I think I have the right group of friends to do this. It’s a bit pricey to enter, but the biggest problem would be getting us all to the right place at the right time. San Jose’s in August. Anyone want to come play?
The game is still young, but I have to say – the Swiss are good. They are speedy and it’s almost magic how their passes find the waiting sticks of their teammates. They’re winning 1-0 right now when a drop gave the following attacker all kinds of space and he put one on goal hard. The rebound went right to the guy who did the original drop pass. The swiss seem to have perfect instincts about when to pass and when to throw it at the goal.
Jagr just elbowed someone in the face. I think the refs forgot their whistles tonight. Vokoun, the goalie for the czechs, has pulled off two miracle saves already, to keep the game interesting.
I’m not sure how the swiss can possibly keep up this intensity, especially on defense. They are glue! Sticky spiders! No Czech player has any space at all.
The swiss just scored again, and in this case it’s a pity that the scorekeepers can only award two assists. it started with a great check, knocking the Czech off the puck, then a pass, then another pass as Vokoun went sprawling, and then the goal. Wham, bing, bang, bam.
There’s a guy named Kevin on the Swiss team. Huh.
End of first period: Switzerland 2, Czech Republic 0.
Meanwhile, the US team is taking on Kazakhstan in the “your fans paid to come all this way so we’ll give them a couple more games even though you suck” bracket. I got a bit of a soft spot for the Kazakhs a few years ago when they pulled out a couple of improbable wins even though the goalie was wearing antiquated equipment. They are a slam-dunk for a corporation to pony up some funding in the hope of creating a feel-good story with their name on it.
Second period:
Czechs are controlling the puck now. Either the Swiss have slowed or the Czechs have finally figured out that they’re going to have to work for this one. And they score! You can’t fault the goaltender, number 15 had enough space to aim the shot off his own rebound. You can’t leave someone that alone in front of your net.
And five minutes into the second period, we have our first penalty, against the Czechs. The Swiss are not getting shots. It’s pretty clear now the Czechs have decided to get out in the faces of the Swiss. Good call. Before that penalty was up, another penalty came, also against the Czechs. Almost a short-handed goal! The ice is definitely starting to tip the Czech’s way. The Swiss suddenly look disorganized, with three players clustered and cutting off their own passing lanes on a power play.
Not sure what just happened, but the Swiss got another goal. Who taught these guys to be so fast? Now they’re all pumped up again and it’s like the first period – wherever the puck is, there’s a swiss stick nearby. These guys are fueled by emotion. You beat them by taking that away – knock them on their butts, score short-handed.
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a game with so much gear on the ice – sticks, gloves, helmets.
Goal Czech Republic! Depending on your leaning, a lucky-ass bounce shot that found the top corner from almost the blue line, or a brilliantly accurate shot that exploited the goalie’s aggressive play. Either way, the Czechs have stolen the Swiss mojo once more, and the play is almost exclusively in the Swiss end.
If someone teaches the Swiss to conterpunch, to just turn it up another notch when the other guys score, watch out.
Czechs with a two-man advantage. Not doing much with it. Now the Swiss are pumped up again.
Just before the period expired the Czechs had a great chance. Down the ice fast with the last pass making it a clean shot, only the goalie to beat. The goalie stopped the shot, but left a tantalizing rebound. Last time, the Czechs put that one away. Not this time.
End of second period: Switzerland 3, Czech Republic 2
Meanwhile, Germany (Germany!) is giving Russia a game. Exceeding expectations is sweet. Doing it when your country is the host of the tournament is awesome. Some of those kids will never play international hockey again, but they will have so great memories of the home crowd going nuts.
Third period:
Sorry – was distracted. So it goes. No one scored, however. The Swiss carry the day. I’m looking forward to Switzerland/Canada or Switzerland/Russia. It seems like Switzerland is a problem that is solved by good coaching. Get in their faces, knock them back, never let them feel like they have momentum. It means making sure your guys are ready to skate hard and fast when the first puck drops. In the first period, those kids were insane. It was like there was eight of them on the ice. (I say kids, but there’s one guy, Seger, who’s been on the team since the ice age. I have no idea how old the others are.)
The game is over, life goes on. The Czech team is somewhat less disappointing than the US team, and there’s still hope for them. Somehow the Swiss manage to exceed expectations year after year. Perhaps it is the expectations that are the problem, but in the past it’s been defense that defines the Swiss team. This time, they have some moves at the other end of the ice as well, and in defiance of stereotypes, they are a team of emotion. Opponents take note.
Let’s see how this map thingie works…
View Muddled Moravia in a larger map
You’ll have to zoom in to find the marker: Drinkin’ with a Priest!
Yep, it’s that time of year again! No Pants Day here in the Czech Republic is a dreary day so far, chilly and threatening rain, but there’s nothing like a little pants-free action to add a ray of virtual sunshine.
I’d link to the song I just quoted (and tell you who wrote it), but that will have to wait.
Hey! did you know that even after your fortieth birthday you can spontaneously develop serious food allergies to things you’ve been able to eat your whole life? I had no idea such a thing was possible until my sweetie and I shared a shrimp salad, just like we’ve done before. Only this time… yow!
She’s OK now.
This morning my sweetie and I were discussing schedules, which today involved trains. I mentioned the possibility that a train could run late, to which the light of my life asked, “Why would a train run late? It’s not like they have to worry about traffic.”
This evening, as I was boarding the train in question, the conductor said, “we’ve had another bomb threat.”
While Apple ads are smug and annoying, Microsoft ads are downright fun. There’s one in heavy rotation right now, featuring a young woman sitting with her laptop at a French sidewalk cafe, talking (in French) about how Microsoft incorporated her revolutionary idea into their new operating system. What was this great innovation that apparently never occurred to the boys in Redmond before?
She thought it would be great if her computer didn’t crash so often.
Wow! Hold the phone, there, Sparky! Not Crashing? That’s some out-of-the-box thinking right there! At least, it’s innovative thinking for Microsoft, apparently.
I suppose if it takes some French chick to point that out for them, well, I’m glad she took the time. My copy of Windows 7 arrived two days ago and is now installed on my Mac. Hasn’t crashed once in the half-hour I’ve run it.
Well, it’s too late for most people out there, but for those on the Left coast and parts West, here’s a reminder that when midnight rolls over and it’s Road Trip Day, if the very first words you say are “elevator ocelot rutabaga” your year will be filled with prosperity and good cheer.
Of course most of you have already passed the fateful line (and naturally those familiar with the Muddled Calendar have already invoked the magic incantation), but if you haven’t actually said anything yet today, it’s not too late! With me:
Elevator! Ocelot! Rutabaga!
I’ll have more Road Trip Day stories tomorrow! Have a great year, everyone!
