Hit it!

It’s six days to December. I have 29,000 words to go, few work responsibilities, it’s dark, and I’m drinking decaf.

First Names

What would a really, really old (at least 2000 years) female vampire be named? Would she modernize her name over time, or stick with the original? She has been isolated from mainstream society (but not vampire society) for the last few hundred years.

Need More Computing Power

I’m working with several products from Adobe corporation right now. That means several things: first, getting used to various ‘quirks’ in the user interface that no other company does the same way. I occasionally say, “There’s the Mac way, the Windows way, and the Adobe way.” The Adobe way doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing in different Adobe products, alas.

Second, running multiple products from Adobe, along with their infamous memory leaks, means that my little Mac Mini is severely challenged. Adobe makes big products, and seems much more worried about features than performance. I have an income (made in part from using Adobe products), and can justify upgrading hardware at some point, but then what happens to the old machine? There’s still plenty of computing left in the little guy. It’s actually pretty fast.

Then it occurred to me that the perfect answer would be a second mini just like the first, that I could connect in such a way that they could share the workload. Suddenly my upgrade gets a lot cheaper and I’m not getting rid of a perfectly good computer.

I know that there is a supercomputer built from a bazillion macs all hooked together and sharing the load, so why can’t I get some of that action? What would it take to get two macs hooked together to become a single computer? It seems just too damn obviously a good thing to not exist.

I’m filing this under Get-Poor-Quick Schemes, since it’s probably one of those ideas that looks good on paper but is in fact a major PITA. Still, what a great OS feature that would be.

A Quick Perfume Question

What would be a fairly unusual but not ridiculous scent for a waitress in a bar to wear? Something subtle, perhaps a bit sexier than one would normally wear to work.

Where There’s Vampires…

I haven’t considered putting werewolves into my November Epic, but at the World Fantasy Convention I joked that after I finish The Quest for the Important Thing to Defeat the Evil Guy I should follow with Vampires and Werewolves Get It On (and Oh, Yeah, There’s Zombies Too). Although this book has already been written many times (as has Quest), it’s never been written as honestly.

Secret insider information I’ve received indicates that there is another movie in the reputedly-wreched Twilight series (excuse me, saga) coming out. In it, vampires and werewolves get it on. No word on Zombies. (“Get it on” can mean different things in different contexts; while usually it has sexual connotations, it can also mean to come into conflict. That’s what makes the title so perfect. When they’re not getting it on, they’re getting it on.)

Quest was a title I’d been hoping to drop casually in a conversation with a publisher, get them all excited, and have them give me lots of money. While I did talk to a couple of publishers, I never got to that level of conversation. In one case that was my fault; they were celebrating the launch of a book with a reading, and the four authors weren’t very good. I didn’t stick around. Someone was eventually going to ask my opinion.

So, I still have my day job. I have completely failed to balance work and life; failing so badly that I’m also not getting enough work done.

For NaNoWriMo I’m way, way behind on word count, but thanks to you guys my vampire society is a complex one filled with internal conflict. It creates the perfect setting for someone to do to the vampires what they do to humanity — hunt them for food.

Maybe in one of the blockbuster sequels I can toss in Lycanthropes. And, oh, yeah, Zombies, too. And ninjas.

No pirates, though. That would be crass commercialism.

Undead Employment Agency

Let’s say for a moment that you are a vampire. As a vampire you probably have developed some expensive tastes, you need a secure place in the daytime, and you’ll want some sort of cover to allow you to meet potential victims. In short, even as a vampire you would probably need to find a job.

Obviously it has to be a night job, and paperwork might be a problem depending on whether you’ve managed to establish a false identity or not. (“Says here you were born in 1895…”)

With those considerations in mind (and any others you come up with as well), what job would you have? Or is there another way to pay your rent without working, a particularly vampiric one?

Coming Clean

Today as I showered it occurred to me that not long ago using four different cleansing products in one shower would have been noteworthy. Now I use shampoo, soap, face cleaner stuff (skin’s been healthier lately as a result), and for the beard I use body shampoo (it rinses out better). Yep, there are many ways to get clean.

Bath Desserts has all sorts of flavors of shower gels! Not to mention soaps and other stuff.

Bath Desserts has all sorts of flavors of shower gels! Not to mention soaps and other stuff.

What was noteworthy was one of the cleansing products I used. I happened to be bathing in the luxuriously-scented Raspberry Sweet Tea shower gel made by my close personal fictitious friend Harlean Carpenter. I have to say that some of her Bath Desserts are really awesome—the scents are unmistakeable, but not overdone to the point where my easily-irritated nose takes offense (I can’t even walk into a Hallmark store). I don’t know how she made the cinnamon roll flavor bath cake so cinnamon-rolly. The Kiwi Fruit slices rock, and you can get herbal tea bags to steep in your bath.

While I’m hardly unbiased, I have to say that these soaps and gels would make fabulous and unique gifts. That’s right: fabulous AND unique. Go check them out!