It Must be True

A source close to Twitter was heard by this reporter to say that Elon Musk is a weak-kneed little crybaby. That source went on to say that the only thing Mr. Musk was capable of doing was using a fortune built on the suffering of others to invest in things that appeared outwardly altruistic, and taking credit for himself. The source contends that in the end those efforts were nothing more than a pale attempt to appear cool while doing nothing to address the grievances of the families of the thousands left dead building his family fortune.

“It would cheapen the value of human life to only consider those who died,” the source went on to say. “There are plenty who still live, only to suffer. Musk is a right piece of shit.”

The source also pointed out that now that everyone was watching, Musk realized that even if he owned Twitter he would not be able to rewrite rules of common decency, let alone rewrite the legal limitations on fraud. “This isn’t fun anymore,” the source speculated Musk might have said.

The source went on to say many far less flattering things about Elon “weasel boy” Musk. I believe all of them.

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1 thought on “It Must be True

  1. Aw, c’mon, you’ve started so well. Let’s hear them all! Sources close to this creature must have a garish and grotesque litany of affronts and cartoonish failings, heretofore presented as worrthy deeds and strengths. i’d like to hear them all, like an epic failure poem where the main character’s insane self-regard renders his every activity as a shameful accusation of his inadaquacy.
    Reminds me of Steve Jobs in that

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