I have a piece over at Piker Press this week. I was looking for something different in tone and I got it, by jing. I intentionally didn’t over-edit the piece, so it’s a little rough, but it works OK.
Happy Easter! It’s a day for not working, which means it’s a Google Day! (Actually, these are quite a bit of work now, which makes it all the more mysterious why I do them.) This episode is dedicated to the sisters.
Note that with this episode I have returned to my obfuscational ways, inserting spaces were I don’t want to distract the search engines from the original.
- squirrel master half baked picture – linked to the explanation page
- drink your beer song – could have linked to any number of places, but Google chose this deceptively titled one about the Anti-Jerry
- guest poems linked to the guest poems, of course
- x-ray gogs explained – in a great recursive cause and effect ring, searchers no longer go to the page I first mentioned x-ray gogs while describing Rose, but to Google episodes like this one.
- getting a life – who would have thought I’d have an episode named that? I mean sure, I know eggs, but life?
- The Secrets of the Last Eunuch – if my blog didn’t already have a name, this would be it. Linked to a sappy Amy episode.
- things to do while you wait for toast to pop up – I don’t know why, but I like the way this seeker thinks.
- “poodle” birthday girl message party ideas – I just cut and paste, kids.
- cover friggin sestry – attracted to punk rock with accordion and uppity frou-frou canines
- crap filled crepes – I don’t know what they were looking for, but I like the way they think.
- half of page blank in comcast start page – maybe they should ask comcast about that rather than google.
- ivanka praha hair – it funny how many hair searches I get.
- fire eel with a twitch – sometimes therapy helps
- mopar tits – linked to a google episode like this one, but that search linked to this juicy episode
- crazy countertop height bar stools – it was the word “crazy” that put the Bars Tour category page at the top of the search results
- Motorcycle Partys Show those puppies
- star named beauty – you know, I don’t know crap about anything like that, but it sure is nice to know someone is searching for it. And in the end, they could have done worse than end up here.
- pardubice photos hejduk – an up-to-date hockey fan is sadly disappointed.
- elk poop description picture – hit on two other episodes like this one, but the picture (for what it’s worth) is here. You know what’s crazy? These guys really want to see pictures of elk poop.
- talent show ideas – at this moment, I’m number four at Yahoo for that search. And now that I think about it, I do have a few ideas that would be memorable…
- anti-squirrels – I had thought we mentioned them only in the comments, but no, they made it to the top level in an episode like this one from long ago.
- definition fern bar – I’ve been in a few, but I never defined one. I’m thinking, though, that the guy who searches the Web for the definition probably belongs in one.
- arabic legend stories of Cassiopeia – this site scored high strictly on the weight of the word story. But heck, I really want to know…
- Pictures of Dead Bison in Yellowstone – obviously a pent-up need as this episode came up on the 6th page of results.
- “sunday bloody sunday” explanation – linked to a morning after episode that includes the B i l l y I d o l Incident.
- “i was trapped” naked “my clothes” “my shoes” – linked to the Stories category page
- aftermath nicole – I guess I’m not the only one who’s met her.
- squirrel safety path – this was a Japanese search, so I can’t help but suspect the path was to protect the squirrels rather than protect us from the squirrels, but let’s face it, if the squirrels are in the cult, they’re not looking for safety
- squirrel pants
- “explosive welding” – scored pretty high. I guess not that many people talk about this very fun way to join two materials. Linked to an episode about trumpet bells.
- m o o n l i g h t s o n a t a steam – not sure what steam has to do with it, but it put me right at the top. A more mature version of the story is in the Piker Press Archives
It’s the Easter season, so there’s been a surge in H u n k y J e s u s and Indulgence searches. P o s i t i v e D r i n k i n g is big these days, and it leads to an episode that starts slow but really gets rolling. Fryers are back with a vengeance, accounting for about 50% of visitors on the weekends. One episode like this one, called V e n i, V i d i, G o o g l i gets a lot of hits from Italians.