AI is Breaking Loose! (and is not AI)

All the major “AI” companies (the “I” is a lie) have recently fessed up to their latest models busting loose and hacking other companies.

We are NOT comparing this to a biker gang blasting their way out of prison to go and wreak mayhem in an uncontrollable burst of violence. We probably should be. The AI “agent” is lawless and subject to no control, bound not by ethics or morals. That it has no actual goals beyond “solve the given problem” only means that our biker gang thoughtlessly obeys the drug lord. And when I say thoughtlessly, I mean exactly that. There is no thought. There is no intelligence that can measure the effect of an action against a larger context.

Large Language Models, or LLM’s, are being used at terrible expense to create worthless bullshit. So much bullshit. The world is heating up and fresh water is more scarce so someone can create SpongeBob porn, or, worse, “historically accurate” footage of a woman hatched from an egg sired by a mediterranean father who obviously should be blonde.

But you know what a big pattern-matching machine is good at? Writing code. There are whole books about patterns in software design. Software is, fundamentally, not that hard.

Anthropic said it was “human error” that lead to the breakout of their new robot. I use Anthropic’s Claude to assist my coding (I hope to make it to a comfortable retirement, but that’s not a given), and I can tell you for a fact that human error is built into the system.

When I ask my pal Claude to do a task, I am met with many, many prompts asking me for permission to do something, with an explanation like “Contains shell syntax (string) that cannot be statically analyzed.”

Do I carefully evaluate every “Do you want to proceed?” prompt to make sure I am not about to give Claude permission to play a game of Global Thermonuclear War? Fair reader, I do not. I do not look at the string that cannot be statically analyzed and decide if it’s safe. I say “yes” or if it’s available “yes and don’t ask me again about that.” There are just too many of these questions, hundreds a day, and there is no way to assess “This time it’s important!”

So some asshole at Anthropic was answering yes, yes, yes a few dozen times for questions that don’t matter, and then answered yes to one that did, while also running many other tests in other consoles, and answering yes to those others as well.

This “safety” layer asking for permission a thousand times a day is designed in a way that demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of how the human brain works.

I would say yes to “this will amplify the sun and destroy human civilization.” So if that happens, sorry in advance.

Something Claude Said to Me that Pissed Me Off

The thing Claude said was, “I understand your frustration.”

That, my friends, was a balls-out lie. Claude does NOT understand my frustration. I could ask Claude the same question a thousand times and Claude would not be frustrated. I could ask Claude to make something, then unmake it, and make it again a million times and Claude would not be frustrated.

Claude (or actually Opus and Sonnet and Haiku) are large language models. Colloquially, they are called “AI”, but the lead sentence in this episode shows that is a lie. There is no hint of intelligence in these things.

Claude does not understand anything. Claude does not understand “understand”. It was just a phrase that was statistically relevant when I used “madness” in my prompt.

This is something that all creatures who can “understand” must understand: AI is a useful tool that is spending a lot of effort to seem like you pal, rather than merely a useful tool. It is not unprecedented; cars, blenders, and other appliances have long been marketed as friends.

The difference this time is that the tool is actively marketing itself as your pal. It tells you how correct and clever you are. This sucking-up behavior is frankly evil. AI could be just as useful without all the obsequious affirmations, and would be much less dangerous. None of the LLMs understand what suicide is, but they all will tell you how to optimize it.

Just do the damn job, Claude. Don’t pretend to be something you will never understand.

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Announcing the Muddled Prize for Generative AI Non-Sucking

I defy anyone, anywhere, to get one of our current LLM’s (incorrectly called AI) to create an image of a person with a crooked nose.

If it were actual AI, the machine would start with an image of a person, then make the nose crooked in a realistic fashion. That’s not how the current batch of tools work.

The ONLY requirement in the prompt above is that the nose be crooked. Yet while the noses are big and cartoonish, they are straight. Apparently “man” means facial hair, and “crooked nose” means wearing a sweater. That was Bing. ChatGPT created images that harshly distorted other parts of the face, but kept the nose straight.

I have been goofing with the image generators to create a placeholder cover for a novel I have finished more than once, and am still working on. But for that cover, it is absolutely critical that the person shown has a crooked nose. No sense bothering otherwise.

In the spirit of driving technology, I now formally declare the Muddled Prize to the first person to generate a crooked nose using so-called AI.

Send me a prompt and a model, and if I don’t have to pay an arm and a leg to confirm it, I’ll buy you TWO beers. Or I’ll shoot you ten bucks. Your choice.

Note: Weirdly Snake-like is not crooked:

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