We see a gothic rooftop silhouetted against a setting sun. There are fanciful stone gargoyles around the perimiter, in silhouette. As light fades the profile of an extra gargoyle appears. We move closer until we see his brooding face as he looks out over the ancient city.
My name is Grundgwig. I guess you could call me a cop.
Move in, show from the other side, now silhouetted against the moon, the spires of the ancient city arrayed beneath.
I work the night shift.
Cut to: a manhole cover rattling, a jet of steam escaping.
Grundwig raises his head, listening, smelling – something is wrong. He leaps from the cathedral to a neighboring building. Nimbly he bounds through the night, unnoticed by the shadowy, indistinct figures of the humans below.
The manhole cover slowly rises, revealing a wickedly-taloned hand and a pair of glowing eyes. There are no people in the cobbled street. The demon begins to slink out of the manhole, but Grundwig lands on the cover with his full force. With a crash and a scream from the demon the fiend disappears back into the sewers. Grundwig follows. Battle ensues, breaking pipes and damaging stonework. The demon makes a final desperate lunge at Grundwig’s throat, but he is a spy, not a fighter, and Grundwig eventually gets the best of him. To permanently kill the demon Grundwig eats its heart.
As the rest of the demon corpse turns to goo, Grundwig breathes a heavy sigh.
Things have been busy lately.
The Office – hidden away in vaults beneath the city we find headquarters decked out in a completely gargoyle-like fashion. Everything has a gothic look, and many of the items are unidentifiable. There are gargoyles of every shape and description hanging from cielings, clinging to walls, and their furniture is modified to match.
There is a general bustle in the room, professional if a little on the loud side.
Grundwig is larger than most of the others, and has to push his way through the bustle to his desk. On the way he greets the others by name. He collapses into his chair with a heavy sigh.
“Long Night?” A decidedly hot babe-gargoyle-cop sits on the corner of his desk.
Grundwig sighs. “Man, I’m looking forward to the short nights of summer.”
“Yeah, me too, so I can listen to you complain about how long the days are.”
Grundwig looks at his desk.
“Yeah, just got a lot of paperwork to do.”
Her eyes get round. “Damn, G, you gotta slow down.”
“I’d love to.” He turns to his paperwork.
“What’re you doing later? Heading for the Hole?”
“If I ever finish this stuff, yeah, I guess.”
“See you there, then, maybe.”
She hesitates and walks away.
As the sun rises we find Grundwig back on the cathedral, in a contemplative pose.
It will never end.
Grundwig runs his hands over the stony scales on his head.
They come, we kill them, then more come. Sometimes they kill us. I am good at what I do, but it will not end until I make a mistake and my heart is eaten.
A bell tolls behind him, unbearably loud.
“Dammit!” Grundwig leaps up, frazzled, then retreats from the rooftop. “I hate Sundays.”
A demon furtively walks the ancient streets, keeping to the shadows. Grundwig drops down but the demon dodges, and rolls nimbly away. Grundwig pursues and corners the other.
Rather than attacking mindlessly, the demon cowers, but wields the first weapon we have seen, a nasty-looking knife. “Wait, wait, wait!”
Grundwig hesitates. “You can speak?”
“No, I can’t.”
Grundwig disarms the demon and rears back to tear the its head off.
“Yes! Yes I can speak! What do you expect when you ask such a numb-nuts question? The Maker gives some us more intelligence than others.”
“Huh.” He registers this fact and prepares to tear the heart out of the demon.
“Don’t you wonder why I’ve been given superior intelligence, and what I’m doing here now?”
“Don’t see how it matters. I won’t believe anything you tell me anyway.”
“So you’re not as dumb as you look. That’s good, that’s good. But don’t you think it would be a good idea to take me back and let your superiors decide what to do with me?”
“What? Why not?”
“Because you want me to.”
“I want to live, Einstein. This is why the Maker gives so few of us intelligence. Gives us a chance to reprioritize.”
“I’m not pretending to be on your side, Chumley, I’m just buying time. But you could score some big points bringing me in alive. I can tell you things.”
“Now, if I told you, you’d have no reason to keep me alive, would you?”
“There’s something you don’t understand.”
Grundwig pushes his face directly into the demon’s, and grinnes with all his teeth. “I don’t need to score big points.”
“The only thing keeping you alive is the possibility that I will have one less 1066/HST to fill out in the morning.”
“But I’m getting a little hungry.”
“OK, OK, OK, I’ll give you a free sample. If this don’t make you soil your trousers, I don’t know what will. The Maker is resurrecting dragons.”
Grundwig tears the demon’s heart out and eats it. “Tell me something I don’t know.” he mutters.