Litho, Ergo Sum

I need to be going soon, to get the pups back to Los Alamos and to meet up with Jojo et. al. to go watch Zozobra. So this morning I was right here in this chair, checkin email and whatnot, generally procrastinating. Outside the window was a stack of rocks. A few feet away was another rock, and as I looked at it I realized that rock had to go on top of the stack. It went from being an observation to an obsession in just a few minutes. The rock was yearning to be put in its proper place.

Time to take the dogs out. While the dogs explored I put the rock where it so clearly belonged, a definitive refutation of Aristotle. Mission accomplished, I noticed that there was a nice flat spot on the new rock that called for another rock on top of it. Thus was a monster created. There are now five new sculptures (if I may be so bold) in the area surrounding Five O’Clock Somewhere. Well, four and a half—one’s just a little guy.

rock pile 1
Rock Pile 1. I added the top three rocks to the existing pile. Hey, this is fun!

Rock Pile 2

Rock Pile 2, going for altitude!

Rock Pile 3

Rock Pile 3, defying gravity.
That top rock is pretty big.

Rock Pile 4

Rock Pile 4, getting fancier.
I almost knocked the whole thing down while doing “one last little adjustment”. This picture doesn’t show the structure that well, but I like its drama.

37 thoughts on “Litho, Ergo Sum

  1. According to a 4th grade reading lesson I heard recently, Albert Einstein was not only a genius physicist but also a world class violinist.

    Given that, why couldn’t Jer be a writer/sculptor?

    Hey, you might even get some mileage out of this one! If you tell a woman in bar that you are a writer and don’t get the reaction you want, then you could either:

    a.) write her off as a philistine, or …

    b.) tell her you are a sculptor, as well!

  2. Paleolith : caveman sharpens a flint point

    Neolith : caveman paints big gnu on cave wall

    renaissancelith : caveman beats on a rock with a mysterious smile

    impressiolith : sad caveman hacks off ear with a dull flint

    cubilith : caveman tries to show all sides of a rock

    post modern lith : Jerry “Caveman” S. sells fiveoclocksomewheres #1 and #2 for 1.6 million clams and treats blog community to all expenses paid single-malt festival on his own private carribean island. Outside of hurricane season, of course.

    Blog community responds, “You lith, dude.”

  3. That would have to be a very small Caribbean island, unless the clam-dollar exchange rate has changed since the last time I checked.

    Bob, it’s good to know you’ve finally made it to fourth grade.

    I did take several pictures. Rock Pile 3 is probably the least stable of the bunch – a gust in the wrong direction will probably bring it down. Rock Pile 4 was very stable until my last tweaks; now I’m not so sure.

    As far as losing my mind, which would you rather do, clean house or stack rocks?

  4. More toys with which you can play:

    Besides the dirt pile that’s there

    by the dinghy rack, I’m bringing up

    railroad ties … think of all the

    things you could make … just think

    of them as big Lincoln logs.

    Plus, I’m bringing up a few more

    blocks to play with … something

    for me to do besides playing with

    the blocks and dirt.

    Seems too bad that most kids nowadays, unless they have nostalgic, permissive, and indulgent grandparents, don’t get to play with the classic toys of our youth … Lincoln logs, bb guns, toy soldiers, etc. (Yeah I know toy soldiers are politically incorrect/militaristic, bb guns too dangerous, Legos have gotten too commercial and over-packaged….)

  5. Maybe you are losing your mind, after all.

    I outline a plan that consists of:

    Einstein –> Jerry —> Asking women in bars to pose as models while you do your “rock sculpture”,

    and the part you focus on is the fourth grade reading lesson?!?

  6. Somehow, “single malt” and “amusement park” just don’t go together.

    Speaking of “you lith,” even in you’re not a country fan, you ought to take a listen to Gretchen Wilson’s “Here for the Party.” Gretchen really liths. While you’re at it, check out Alan Jackson’s “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere,” with Jimmy Buffett. It’s the inspiration for the name of this place.

  7. I am sorry to report that I can find little solid evidence of the rock towers #2, #3, & #4. I did find #1 intact, alog with the “little guy”. They are still right outside this window.

  8. Number 2 for all its height felt pretty stable, but was a ways from the house to the west. Number 3 a fart would have knocked over, but was in plain view of number 1. Number 4 I think I should have left well enough alone, but it was just on the end of the house where Pat has been pouring the concrete. You should be able to recognize the L-shaped rock in a pile of debris that wasn’t there before.

  9. Ok, time to let people in on the original rock stack that got Jerry going in the first place. Five O’Clock Somewhere is a manufactured housing unit. That means it has some interesting features, such as some molded-fiberglass mock pillars in front that are trying to look like they hold up the roof. The problems is that those pillars at the moment are hanging out over empty air.

    Needelss to say, pillars that aren’t sitting on anything do look a bit ridiculous. So Pat was looking for rocks that could be stacked up and mortared in place to make the pillars look like they actually were sitting on something and therefore serving to support something.

    As for the rock-piling becoming a diversion … well, it has led to some interesting works of art. Pile #1 might even serve as a reasonable pretend pillar-holder-upper. I kind of like the idea of supporting a fake pillar with a really silly rock pile.

    On the other hand, if the rocks have caused Jerry to divert his energy from his novel, then I apologize for making too many rocks available to him when he visited Five O’Clock Somewhere.

  10. I’m just certain that hundreds of years from now archeologists will stumble upon Jerr’s rock sculpture and think they have found evidence of some sort of modern druid, expressing with stones some metaphor to explain the human condition and the way of life in the 21st century.

    So as long as Jerry refrains from offering sacrifices to his sculpture, I’ll remain convinced of his sanity.

  11. OK, here’s an open invitiation to people to come out to Five-O’Clock Somewhere. Play with the rocks. Whoever comes up with the most interesting stacks, those are the stacks that will pretend to hold up the pillars at the front of the house. They will be cemented in place and stand forever.

    First prize: a bottle of single-malt Scotch. Second prize, a bottle of high-quality Kentucky Bourbon.

  12. Jer asks, “As far as losing my mind, which would you rather do, clean house or stack rocks?”

    One look at the interior of Five O’Clock Somewhere, and you’ll know the answer!

  13. I am filled with rock-stacking confidence (not to be confused with hubris), and I’ll take any of you sorry would-be rock-stackers down!

  14. 6-7-5? What’s that, HaiKeith? If you had just used mundane ‘death’ instead of the more melodramatic ‘demise’ you would have been fine, Wordsworth.

  15. I went to to find the Greek of “I Rock, Therefore I am”. Finally found it was “Litho, Ergo Sum”. Then I did a google search on that for fun and landed in your blog.

    Nice to find that there are other people in this world who think sideways.


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