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Jer's Homeless Tour

Big-Ass Beers in San Angelo

October 15th, 2004
It was bazooka night at 5-points.

Location: Bill’s house, San Angelo, TX
Miles: 141nn.n

Driving between Clovis and Lubbock, I had the thought “Columbus was wrong.” The world is very flat out there. There is a town called Levelland. You can see a long way across the planar plain, and what you see is… telephone poles, power poles, and the occasional silo. The poles march in straight lines across the land, criss-crossing each other’s paths without rhyme or reason.

Windmill at Sunset Past Lubbock, as it started to get dark, the land started to roll a little bit. I rolled with it, cruise control set on exactly the speed limit, along with everyone else. A few people were going a wee bit over the limit, but there were no flagrant violators that I saw. Nevertheless I saw two drivers pulled over by cops. We got law and order in this state, son. It was a relaxing drive, however, as the road was nearly empty after 8:30. They also have early bedtimes out here. The night was dark. No moon and few lights left me imagining what the terrain was like outside the splash of my headlights.

Now I’m here in San Angelo (“The largest city in the country that’s not on an interstate,” Bill tells me.), helping Bill enjoy his weekend, which occurs on Wednesday and Thursday. Bill has been an excellent tour guide, showing me the sights. (In Clovis it was more about the smells.) Last night of course we went to a couple of bars, The Steel Penny and one Bill referred to as 5-point. The name refers to the 5-way intersection outside; the bar is named something else I don’t recall. It was bazooka night at 5-point. Bazookas are big-ass beers, something like 36 ounces. On Wednesday’s they’re both big and cheap. Two of my favorite attributes in a beer. Top it off with free hot dogs and a pretty bartender (did she say her name was Kelly? Kristen?) and you’ve got yourself a good place to hang.

Hang we did. Bill’s friend joined us and did his part to reduce the world beer supply. After a couple of those big ‘ol mofos we pushed on to the Steel Penny, which was pretty quiet but they had a good beer selection and lots of sports on the televisions. We sipped Dead Guy Ale slowly until it was time to head home. A couple of my rival presidential candidates were debating on TV, so we watched them blather on for a while.

Here’s something interesting: if the electoral college splits exactly 50-50, the House chooses the President and the Senate chooses the veep. The voting rules for the House are odd, but Bush would probably win there. The Senate is close, and if the Democrats pick up a couple of seats they would probably install Edwards as VP. What would Bush do without Cheney to give him instructions? I imagine that Rumsfeld would be even more influential than he is now.

But enough of all that silliness. It’s time to go out again. No great big beers tonight, I expect, but a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.

If you hated this episode, you surely won’t like:

  1. Your Support Matters!
  2. Location Scouting
  3. Lookin’ for a Bluesman

11 Responses to “Big-Ass Beers in San Angelo”

  1. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Carol Anne
    says:

    Ummm, I don’t know if it’s just me, but there’s something missing here, like that column down the right side of the screen. I’ve had problems before related to a slow connection, but I’m running at 46.6K, which is the fastest I ever connect in Albuquerque. And when I have a slow connection (like 26K or so), the most I typically lose is the ten-most-recent list and the site counter.

    This time, the column on the right is missing, and the blog cuts off abruptly after “Six Months on the Road” — there is an empty white rectangle the width of the screen and one character high that I assume represents an attempt to render the next entry.

    I tried reloading the page. No good. I tried disconnecting and reconnecting. No good. I tried restarting my computer and reconnecting. No good.

    To see whether Haloscan was having problems, I went to another blog that uses it; that blog was having no problems whatsoever.

    Where’s the sidebar?

  2. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Brian
    says:

    Bill’s friend joined us and did his part to reduce the world beer supply.

    I remember working with a guy so many beers ago whose stated purpose on earth was to “keep Budweiser producing enough for a second shift … and to put up a third if he could.” I know we talking about shitty beer but you have to admire the man’s priorities.

    Anywho, Jer, are we talking about the “Safety third Bill” who wouldn’t go for the CluckU 911 wings and hence became “Safety first Bill?”

  3. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Aimes
    says:

    jer bear

    i did it im commited no not maariage better i got the outline of my tat if ever there was a love so true my whole back is now enthralled with color of dragonflys and butterflys and stars a love which i only i know it puts my other tats to shame glory be to god (who ever he migt be for those who read)for there is no other love than the love you have for your self and what you do to your self so yes ive already gooten the DO YOU KNOW THATS ON YOUR BODY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! i think i thought that out men come and go or actually in my life they look and listen to their mothers YOU CAN LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH and by the way cute boy broke up with me friday because he was sooooooooooo jealous that you crashed on my couch he thought we had something more than an unbreakable friendship so i havent told him about your promise to marry mewhich by the way jer bear i miss your sleeply ass when i come home from the waterhole(bar)so ill be coming to prague sooner than you think maybe we shouldnt wait til im 35 ah who cares the beer still loves me here theres just no one to drink it with me thats good company any who ill send you a pic of my amazily beautiful tat

    love ya

  4. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Aimes
    says:

    ps cue and pixel asked why your not here to scratch their ass!

  5. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Jesse
    says:

    Men may come and men may go, but tattoos are a girls’ best friend?

  6. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Jesse
    says:

    Brian, CarolAnne,

    The reason the right hand side of Jer’s blog is gone, is because he is in Texas. The Right is extreme right in TX and has moved off of your screen. Additionally, you may think the left side of Jer’s blog has filled up the entire browser space. This is merely optical illusion. Jerry’s blog appears exaggeratedly leftist in Texas – much like the moon appears larger on the horizon, but really isn’t. If you measure the marginal blue space on the r.h.s. and then measure it again when he has moved out of tx, that margin will be the same width.

  7. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Carol Anne
    says:

    So what happens when he gets to Arkansas? And what about that abrupt cutoff down below?

  8. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Jerry
    says:

    Had problems during upload the other day – will fix whan I have the next episode up. Last night was something!

  9. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Carol Anne
    says:

    Ah, got my sidebar back. Will do something about pictures when I get them shifted over from Pat’s computer.

  10. Vote -1 Vote +1
    melkel
    says:

    Hey! You were in beautiful Levelland and you didn’t stop in at the Mean Woman Grill? You’ll have to come back and have a bite and enjoy some Jazz! Did you know that Levelland has one of the best music departments anywhere…it’s true…and there is music (good music) everywhere around this little space. I’m a new resident of Levelland (yes, the flattest place on the face of the earth) just moved in from San Francisco. It took me a while to notice, but there is beauty in the flatness, the absolute blue skies, and soothing white billowing clouds. Need a great thunderstorm…there’re here, too! As they say, you’all come and see us sometime, tell Sharon at the Bounty Inn Restaurant (best breakfasts) that “california” sent you…you won’t regret it. I miss the City, but as I’ve discovered, if you try you can find beauty in whatever direction your eyes are pointed.

  11. Vote -1 Vote +1
    Jerry
    says:

    It never occurred to me to stop off in Levelland, and now I’m sorry I didn’t. I’m not sure when I’ll be back that way – I didn’t even manage to drop by Clovis on this trip. Still, it’s bound to happen sooner or later, and maybe I can get a nickname at the Bounty Inn as well. (Probably Laptop Guy.)

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