I’m Doing it Wrong

It is a lovely evening, and I’m enjoying patio life. My employer had a beer bash today, but The Killers are playing and I didn’t reserve a spot in time. So I came home instead, and after proper family greetings I repaired to the patio to do creative stuff. It’s blogtober, after all.

So what creative stuff have I been up to?

Creating a class that extends Event Service Sessions to add calendar server capabilities. (php is about the worst language on the planet for injecting new context-related capabilities into an existing class definition. In other words, php is not friendly to duck punching, or “Monkey Patching” as the kids call it these days.

The linked Wikipedia article completely misses the most common use-case for this practice, in which I want to get a thing from some service and then augment it. But php doesn’t flex that way, so I just have to deal with it.

Which is to say, I’m doing Friday evening wrong. It is lovely out, my co-workers are chugging down the last of their beers as The Killers wrap up. I am on my patio with my dogs, the air finally starting to cool after an unusually warm day. It is nice. You’d think I could find a better use of this time than wrangling with a programming language.

But apparently you’d think wrong.

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Perfection

I’m on the patio this evening, wearing a sweatshirt but naked from the knees down. My whiskey glass is unwhiskied, but there’s a simple remedy for that.

Moments ago a tiny creature landed on my glowing screen, backlit by pixels. These tiny bugs annoy me, because it seems their entire purpose in life is to swim in something I want to drink. And when they’re not swimming they’re flying around my eyeballs or crawling across my screen or exploring my nasal passages. The little fuckers bother me mightily.

So naturally when this little critter landed on my screen, my first instinct was to flick out my hand and crush it. But… lit that way, I could really see how well-constructed the creature was. It possessed a symmetry and a focus in construction that I had to pause and appreciate. A much better spokesman for intelligent design than any mammal will ever be.

I stayed my hand, and it flew away. If it landed in my glass, I am now digesting it. A more honorable death, for sure.

Patio Life: California

I was looking for something cool and fizzy to sip on the patio this evening, and the Official Sweetie of Muddled Ramblings and Half-Baked Ideas suggested a Gin and Tonic, with some fancy tonic already cold in the fridge. I’m not ordinarily a G&T kind of guy, but the idea fit conditions perfectly.

Then she said, “Ooo! You want a lime? I’ll go out and pick you a lime.”

 

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