My Favorite Web Comics

It used to be, back in the day, that when I got the newspaper in the morning, the first thing I would read was the comics. Occasionally one would even be funny. My days of newspaper subscriptions are long past, but lately I’ve been starting my day the same way I used to, thanks to the Internet.

The list of comics I check each morning is fairly long — many of them only update once a week, so to get a good bit of comic-reading done each morning requires a large sample. There are a few, however, that give me a special thrill of anticipation when I see a new comic is up. Here, then, is a list of my faves, in no particular order. Check them out!

Girl Genius — A very popular Web comic that takes place in a steam-punk sort of world were there are a few people known as “sparks” — people with a level of mechanical genius that borders on magic. The spark has the unfortunate side effect of driving people mad. Yep, the world is being torn apart by mad scientists. Agatha Clay has a bit of the spark in her, but there seems to be a lot more going on as well. This comic has some darn good storytelling, beautiful artwork, and is overall a slick and professional publication. It’s worth starting from the beginning.

Order of the Stick — From an artistic standpoint, this is at the opposite end of the spectrum from Girl Genuis; the characters are all stick figures. The action takes place in a medieval sword and sorcery world, and the humor is heavily weighted with Dungeons and Dragons references. The characters, for instance, find nothing odd with the idea of making a saving throw during a battle. That’s how combat works, right? If you’re even somewhat familiar with the game (I have only a passing knowledge of it) you will find this comic very funny.

Scary-Go-Round — A very silly modern fantasy. I like it for the completely nutty events, the terrifically odd twists of phrase, and the general Englishness of it. For the last few episodes it’s been filler, so go back a ways if you want to get the real feel of it.

Alien Loves Predator — Although no new episodes have come out in long enough that I think we can declare the comic dead, it’s still worth reading through the archives. It is inspired, I assume, by the movie Alien vs. Predator; this story has the two sharing an apartment in New York. Hijinks ensue. Artistically, this is a great example of a relatively new comic trend; the art is done by photographing action figures.

Dr. McNinja — Off-the-wall ninja humor. I’m not that impressed with the art, but you have to tip your hat to a writer who has a hero who’s a doctor and a ninja, has a gorilla for a receptionist, occasionally rides a velociraptor, and has for a sidekick a boy who grew a big mustache through sheer force of will. His showdown with Ronald McDonald over the McNinja burger was awesome. Recently he just stopped zombies from overrunning the town, although regrettably one was the zombie of Benjamin Franklin’s clone.

Kagerou — Wow. Start with a protagonist with multiple personality disorder who finds himself in a strange fantasy world and go from there. Entire chapters of the story take place inside his head. Who knows? Maybe the whole story is happening in there. This story is packed with interesting characters and is very well-drawn in addition to being well-written.

There are a few more drama-oriented comics I read, but, like American TV series, these seem inevitably to bog down in all the characters being unhappy about who’s dating whom. When characters start to accuse each other of being tedious, maybe it’s time for the writer to figure out that readers are forming the same opinion. Also, with more complicated stories or extended action sequences, updating only once a week doesn’t cut it. A sword fight should take less than a month to conclude. A few comics I’ve shelved until enough new episodes are up that I can read them with some hope of continuity. Some of those have been on the shelf a long time; I suspect I am finished with them.

So those are the ones that popped into my head unbidden. There are some other comics I read that are pretty good, but that list should keep you out of trouble for a little while.

Honorable Mentions:

  • No Rest for the Wicked – you do NOT want to piss off Little Red Riding Hood
  • Choping Block – not for everyone. A gruesome one-joke comic that makes me laugh.
  • Sideways – beautiful woodblock style of art and intersting story. I’m not sure how much of what’s going on I’m supposed to understand.

Tool Recommendations?

Over at WritersMarket.com they have a database tool to help you track what you’ve submitted where,  what its status is, and what’s on your to-do list, submissions-wise. It is integrated with their listings, which makes it particularly easy to track submissions to markets who list there.

I was a big fan of the tool before they upgraded it.

Now the tool is much less useful than it was before. Gone are quick ways to list information by status, to sort and filter the information in a number of ways. Nowhere I can find the ability to track submissions to markets not listed with them. The upgrade is cumbersome and unwieldy, and is frustrating enough that it is turning into yet another bit of resistance when I resolve to get more submissions out. It’s still better than anything else I’ve tried — if I had first experienced it in its current state I’d probably think it was the bee’s sneeze, but I just get so annoyed when there’s something I could do before that I can’t now.

Of course, what I really need is an intern. He or she could use whatever system they wanted to track things, as long as it was a system. I already have help with the printing and mailing, but every agent wants something slightly different, and now I’m not even sure which non-WritersMarket-listed agents I’ve already sent stuff to.

The problem with the intern idea: who? Who in their right mind has a few hours a week to comb through listings, create to-do lists for an easily-distracted guy and then cry in quiet anguish as that same muddled guy doesn’t get them done? It doesn’t help that I can’t afford to pay an intern anything. The only demographic I could come up with was someone hoping to break into the agenting biz and wanting to get a good look at things from the author’s side while learning about submissions, formatting, and slush. Of course, those people could learn more, make better contacts, and so forth, by being an intern to an actual agent. So, not much hope there.

I suppose there might be someone who wanted to become an agent who, upon reading my lyrical and transporting prose, after coming to identify with my characters so deeply it will affect their child-naming strategies in years to come, might want to be my intern to ride my coattails in my inevitable meteoric rise to greatness. Yeah, that could work.

Finding someone with the right combination of delusion and desperation, yet is still together enough to pull off the job, seems like a long shot. I’m probably stuck with software, which brings me (at last) to the point of this post. Are there any writers out there with a submission-tracking tool they like? I’d write one myself (how hard could it be?), but I’ve already got a word processor to maintain.

Unless it was integrated with the word processor…

A Couple of Days Wasted

There comes a time in any geek’s life when he (usually it’s a he) wants to say, “make these two folders the same.” Of course it’s not quite that simple, but it’s not terribly complex.

Not until you look at the software available for the task these days, anyway, and this isn’t just a Mac thing. Oh, there are utilities out there, all right, but they all have two things in common: they do too much and they cost too much. I didn’t want to pay thirty dollars, not when I could spend two days of my life instead. That’s what my life is worth, these days.

So, over the last couple of days I made a folder merge utility. It came out pretty nice. I thought I’d put it up at the Hut as freeware, sort of a promotional thing.

But…

It deletes files. Of course it does; when you synchronize folders and files don’t match something’s going to get deleted. It’s in the nature of the program to delete files. (The fancier programs allow you to reconcile the differences between files. That’s why they cost money.)

But…

Someone’s going to delete the wrong files. With this sort of software that’s a dead certainty. I show in living color when a newer file will be replaced by an older one, but in this day and age is that enough? The software itself is pretty solid now. It does exactly what it says it does. I don’t think that’s enough.

O2 SUCKS!

O2 is my internet service provider. It used to be České Telecom, and back when I was dealing with a Czech company, things were working fine. (Note that this is contrary to all logic as we know it.) Now that ČT has been sucked into a giant pan-European company, my service has gone steadily downhill. Most of the time I’m still connected, but there is no DNS. If I happened to know the IP addresses of all the sites I wanted to visit, I’d be fine. (DNS is like a giant automatic phone book that takes text like jerssoftwarehut.com/ and looks up the string of numbers that identifies the correct machine on the Internet.)

In my setup I can enter an alternate IP address for DNS. I’d like to try that to see if it helps, but I’m not sure what to put there. Any of you techno-geek people know the IP of a reliable DNS?

Now if I could only post this…

We have the technology…

I got the Mini back from the shop yesterday, and now everything is rainbows and unicorns once again. Colorful butterflies flit from flower to flower while the birds sing in four-part harmony. The bunnies are tap-dancing, the foxes are doing the rhumba (you would have expected the fox-trot, but they’re crafty that way), and the squirrels have decided to live another day. Why this great joy among the creatures of the forest? Because future releases of Jer’s Novel Writer will run natively on Intel-based Macs, that’s why. Among mac users, forest creatures were some of the first to adopt the new technology.

Because I’m in a jolly sort of mood, I’ve prepared this exclusive peek into the secret labs high atop Hut Tower, perched on its windswept crag, clad in a permanent cloak of storm clouds while lightning crashes all around it, in a quiet Prague neighborhood.

The Secret Labs high atop Hut Tower

The laptop pictured is, of course, my old one, now serving as a very large hard drive enclosure. The captions are thanks to a program called Cartoon Life that came with the Mini, and makes the layout and typesetting of comic book pages extremely simple.

It will take a bit of getting used to having different machines for different jobs (photos on mini, blog on PowerBook), but I am ready for the challenge. The one fly in the ointment (flies, it seems, do not share the joy of the rest of their fellow creatures), is the uneasy fear that the external hard drive which holds all my music somehow caused the earlier demise of my computer. The drive has a chip set that has been branded “not very good at all”, but I’ve never heard of a firewire device damaging a computer. Still, I most certainly do not want to take the machine in for yet another logic board.

Now, of course, it’s time to move on, to persevere, to take up the mantle once more and leave no thesaurus unplundered. Code must be writ, words must be script, and although the clock in Hut Tower has not had the teremity to tick in an unknown amount of time, elsewhere the laws of space and time reign uncontested, sweeping opportunity along with them in a mad rush to oblivion. I sure don’t want to miss that bus!

I believe a celebration is in order!

Today marked a very important development in the life of Jer’s Novel Writer. For the very first time, I got money for it.

I’ve been working on the thing for a long time, now, but I keep thinking of one more thing I have to make better before I can charge for the software. At the urging of several users, however, I have now set up a way for people to pay voluntarily. No sooner had I put the payment option in place than one of those nagging me was all over it, and now he is my first paying customer, and a darn cool guy, to boot.

On the thank-you page on my Web site, I mention that it is people who voluntarily pay for things that are valuable to them that is fueling the small software revolution. This revolution is real, and growing, and is especially vibrant in the Macintosh world. I’ve used plenty of development environments in my day, but the one I use for Jer’s Novel Writer, called Cocoa, takes a different approach than the others, and provides incredibly powerful tools that are built into the Mac operating system. The result is a flexible and powerful environment. Nothing on any other platform that I have used comes close.

There’s another reason Cocoa has fueled a disproportionately large number of small application developers: It’s free for the asking. Were I to try to develop Jers Novel Writer for Windows, I’d be out hundreds, likely thousands of dollars before I even started, just for the basic tools. Then there are all the other bits that don’t come with the tools, that I have to go to third parties for, and then there’s the installer, and then…

Apple has in the past missed some big opportunities to market their innovations. OpenDoc, Publish/Subscribe (more than ten years ago I interviewed for a job with a company that was creating a system that allowed documents to be embedded in other documents, so when one was changed all the subscribers would be updated as well. “Did you know that’s already built into the Apple operating system?” I asked. I didn’t take the job. It was a cool idea, but nobody even knew it was there.) and plenty of other innovations have withered up simply because the big companies that made software didn’t care. Apple’s approach since OS X has been to make their new ideas instantly part of the development environment, so programmers like me have them at their fingertips from the get-go. That seems to be working better.

Now, the big companies are much more about marketing than about innovation. That’s not a bad thing, though, because there are thousands upon thousands of people like me, working away in their pajamas and bunny slippers, unconstrained by corporate demands, to come up with the new stuff. And with modern tools, we can make those ideas work. What you have now are a few giant Word-like programs that try to do everything, and a host of fleet, specialized apps focussed on a very specific niche. Most people have one of those all-in-one tools in the drawer, but also have a growing collection of tools perfect for one specific task.

When I started working on JersNW oh so very long ago, the number of options for creative writing were limited. Now there are many more (for Windows, Linux, Mac, and what-have-you). While I might lose a few users to the others, I can’t help but get excited over the new batch of truly excellent programs, made by people whose primary motivation is to have something that works right for them. There is a tangible purity of vision and a passion for excellence in these products that makes them a joy to compete against.

So I’m feeling pretty good today, not just for myself but for the bazillions of other little guys out there, transforming the way software is done.

Thank you, Heyes, for your support. Thank you Apple, Microsoft, and the rest for making the tools that give us the power to move the world, and thanks to all the other little guys for the competition. Keep those bunny slippers on.

Up and running?

I was so convinced that the part for my Powerbook was not going to fix the problem that I had written the machine off. The inverter arrived from Atlanta, however, and right now the old road warrior is working, at least in the naked, upside-down configuration.

It has worked for short spells in the past week though, so we won’t really know if things are fixed for a while yet. Cross your fingers!

Then I just have to figure out who to talk to over at Apple concerning their definition of “global”.

The timing was amazing…

I got a new computer yesterday, hand-delivered from the steamy jungles of the Land of Enchantment. After rounding up the needed other parts yesterday (going to take a little getting used to the shift key not being where I expect it), I got things up and running without difficulty. I took a break for some tea, and said to myself, “self, I sure hope the laptop has some more good years in it, now that you’ve bought a desktop machine.” I took my steaming mug of caffeine back to my work table and opened up the laptop.

Obviously the gods of computing (very difficult to tell from the demons of computing) were listening, because at that very moment the screen did a little flickery dance and the computer froze up.

Moments, mere seconds before I started to copy files over to the new machine.

I already knew what the problem was, but this time things were going much more badly. My guess is that the sparks and general bad things that happened before have caused other damage to the video controller. I managed to get things working, more or less, by removing the back of the road warrior and tipping it up on its side while it ran. After poking at the video card and wedging a matchstick in at a critical point, I was able to keep it running well enough that I could access it over the network and begin moving files.

Did I start with my writing, or my software projects? No, of course not. The match stick was working, things were under control. Instead I moved a bunch of junk I wanted to burn to DVD and get out of the way. The hard drive was getting very full, and affecting performance.

Things have become dramatically worse. This morning the Road Warrior can’t run for more than a few seconds before the video problems freeze it up. It can’t even finish rebooting. Finally I disconnected the video controller completely and booted it. I can’t see the screen, but I can access files over the network.

I don’t think any amount of duct tape is going to solve this problem. My blogging software is still over there (I really want the mobile machine to be my blogging platform), so I’m adding this entry the old-fashioned way. None of the usual bottom-of-the-entry links are going to work right, except the comments, which I hard-coded.

Now what I want to do more than anything else is go somewhere and write, but I can’t.

Edited to add: I have the blog software running on the mini now, so the automatic stuff should be restored. I have tried to keep the hard link to the comments here:

Discuss Things that Suck

There is a chance that uploading this will blow away the entire blog if I didn’t move the data over correctly. That would really suck.

Code week

This week I managed to con some of the suckers convince some of my faithful beta testers to try out a sneak peek version of Jer’s Novel Writer. It worked out very well, as far as moving the software forward is concerned. They found bugs, tested new features, and generally kept feeding me useful information as fast as I could deal with it. As a result, the software is quite a bit better than it was before, and the new features really are useful.

Unfortunately, that hasn’t given me much time for writing, and when I do fire up the novel, I find myself looking at the word processor, not the words. Even using other programs (like this one), my head has been in a really technical place. I’ll be sending the new release out to the unsuspecting masses tomorrow, and after that I’ll be taking a code break. Hopefully that will give me something to write about here.

I Have Fixed It!

It dawned on me the other day that my house guest had the tools required for me to be able to dismantle my laptop. Yes, a torx T-8 is to Cassius what a towel was to Douglas Adams. It also occurred to me that since I could make the screen work when I stood on one foot and whistled “The Star-Spangled Banner” through a carrot that the problem might be something as mundane as a loose connector. (This realization was accelerated by Cassius pointing out the obvious.)

I opened up my old Road Warrior and tried not to think too much about the little pieces of plastic that fell out. I’m sure they were simply for cosmetic purposes. Right there at the corner of the case where I found I improve reliability by wedging a matchbox under the power plug (later I found that a stack of two beer coasters under that corner was similarly effective), there was the tiny little connector for the backlight power. Bingo! I thought.

With my computer running, up on its side with its insides right there for everyone to see, I fiddled and futzed with the connector for over an hour. Things got steadily worse. Then they got better. Then they got worse again. Finally I realized that in fact my futzing had become completely superstitious and the connector was not the problem.

One clue was the faint sizzling sound I could hear when the screen was flickering, rather than going out. With ear to electronics I moved to a different corner of the box and took up poking and prodding there. That’s when, back behind a little circuit board, I saw the sparks.

I expect that car mechanics and heart surgeons get used to removing parts labled “not user serviceable” and “warranty will be voided”, but I imagine it was with some trepidation that Joe Cardiologist, M.D. sliced open his first sternum. So it was with me. I liberated the piece in question so that I could play with it in isolation while the computer ran. (More like a neurosurgeon, then, who needs the patient conscious to ask “what did that feel like?” when he prods the brain in question with a pointy thing.)

The little circuit board was wrapped in a plastic film, presumably to prevent it from touching other parts, which could lead to sparks and other bad things. At the edge, where the plastic wrapped around, there was a enough to bulge outwards and press against neighboring components. After yet more gentle torture I found the exact direction of force on the plastic to cause instant screen death. (Luckily I had a second monitor so I could bring the screen back to life by switching screen modes.)

So there it was. And I fixed it using some ancient medical advice: “Doc, it hurts when I do this.” “Then don’t do that.” I pushed the plastic around so that the pressure would not exert the wrong way and I wedged the piece back in so the plastic could not shift back. Ultimately, that is a mechanical solution to an electrical problem (there’s still a potential short circuit on that board), but it’s good enough for me. Better, in fact, because it’s both cheaper than replacing the broken part and has that old-school getting-the-most-out-of-everything feel to it.

I’m back in business, reliably so, and itching to go mobile.

Sorting out the computer issues

My laptop is unhappy; the screen light keeps turning off. (This can’t possibly have anything to do with it falling out of my backpack last week. I had been distracted by my company at the time and didn’t take proper care as I zipped up.) I can make out the vague shapes of windows, but there’s no way to work on it.

I decided to finally bite the bullet and get the Intel-based Mac mini so I could use that while the old PowerBook is in the shop, and finally get an Intel version of Jer’s Novel Writer built and tested. Only problem is, there aren’t any Mac minis with the DVD burner to be had, nor will there be for a while. It seems there are none in the Czech Republic at this time, and one guy told me that Eurpoe is fresh out.

I did get a monitor, however, knowing I would need one for the mini when I finally got it anyway. I got it home a little while ago and set it up, and discovered that it even came with the DVI cable that matched my Mac’s Digital Video connector. Oddly, that cable could not be attached to the monitor. Yes, the monitor shipped with a cable that was completely useless without a DVI adapter. I have such an adapter, so no problem, but with the adapter, the regular cable that came with monitor works just fine also. Oh, well, another cable in the “things that might come in handy for some reason someday” bin.

So, I am back! Able to post blog entries and everything. Life is not perfect, however; unless I want to lug around the monitor, I am stuck at home until the laptop is fixed, and my seating position is a little torqued, as the new screen is next to the keyboard, rather than behind it. But if I send in the laptop for service, I won’t have anything. So do I bite the bullet and go computerless for a few days and then return to my carefree nomadic ways, or do I sit chained to my table until I can get the new machine, then sit chained to the table but at least productive while the laptop is repaired? Quite a conundrum.

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Programming Note

On a happier note, I did get a bug fix release of Jer’s Novel Writer out today – and then, inspired by this site, immediately added a feature to my developmental version. It seems typesetters still want italic text to be underlined in the copy, so if you don’t do it the copy editor has to. The copy editor has a limited amount of time, and you want her to spend it on the important stuff, not underlining shit. To save us all some trouble, I added a print feature to replace italics with underlines. Now I have two print style presets defined, one for editors and first readers, and one for copy editors. Hey-presto! In seconds I can go from Times-Roman with italics to courier with underlines, and never have to change the way I have the text set up on the screen (larger, sans-serif). I’m looking forward to needing the copy editor setting.

The rest of the world will have to wait for the next release for the italic-to-underline feature.

I’m a trendsetter…

There are six tables in the little café near home. I was sitting in here, all alone, when suddenly the hordes descended. I was on a roll, word-wise, however, so I held my ground.

There is a very pretty girl who spends a lot of time here, and her boyfriend often brings his laptop when he eventually arrives. So I am no longer the only guy with technology who spends time here. I was pretty absorbed in my work, so I wasn’t monitoring the ebb and flow of humanity through the joint, but when I got up for a brief urine break I noticed a third laptop in action. Six tables, three laptops. Not bad for a place without WiFi.

But while the third laptop was interesting, the operator was arresting. Seated at the glowing screen she has the librarian look — blonde hair pulled back, glasses, printed material laid out next to the keyboard, a look of intense concentration on her face. And lips. Then she got up to select what tea she wanted, and, well, dang.

Amazingly, it has happened. Not to my benefit, I think, but I have seen someone who makes the computer an accessory that is downright sexy. There are some accouterments that not everyone can wear. I once saw a pretty girl, late at night, outside an all-night auto parts store, poking under the hood of her Mustang, face lit by the glow from the flashlight propped on the fender. (Honestly, I don’t remember if it was a Mustang, but if it wasn’t, it should have been.) While she remains the sexiest woman I have ever seen, laptop girl tonight was up there.

Lets face it. You’ve got your supermodels, who make a career of simply looking good, and then there are the truly sexy women. Granted, the most successful models are capable of exuding some intangible force of personality, but like a chain restaurant, they are constrained by the need to appeal to the widest possible audience. You are not going to see the woman I saw tonight in any fashion magazine. She wasn’t selling that. Women who fix cars, or work on laptops in cafés, women in the act of resourcefulness and creativity, thinking not about how they look but about how they’re going to get the job done, those are my kind of folks. On the right face, concentration can be very sexy.

She’s gone now – the time you are moving through reading this is much different than my time. Gone forever, probably. I’m not sure she did me any favors tonight raising the geek chic bar the way she did. Before I was an exotic foreign writer. Not bad. Now I’m a scruffy writer. I’m OK with that – it’s certainly true, after all, and my laptop, beat and battered, fits the look well.

Only in Los Alamos

I saw a truck today, a big ol’ Dodge 4×4, mud-splattered but in good condition. The front vanity plate read “Forget 911… I dial .357!” and had a drawing of a revolver pointed directly at the reader.

On the rear of the cab were stickers. Some proclaimed the owner of the truck to be in favor of various causes favored by the conservative crowd: POW/MIA, the right to bear arms, and so on. There were also five stickers in a row, white ovals modeled after the stickers that in europe indicate country of origin. In this case, the stickers indicated that the driver was from PHP, WWW, MP3, C++, and W3C. Man, what a geek.

Another Geeky Moment

They say you can tell a lot about a person by the books on his bookshelf. Tonight during a period of navel-gazing I wondered what one could conclude about the bookmarks saved in my browser. In the end, I decided “Prime Numbers from 2 to 999,983” is my geekiest bookmark, but I’m not the only geek out there, not by a long shot. What’s yours?