I’m sitting in a pizza place where they call your name when the pizza’s ready. So far there’s been Jimmy, Jim, Jane, Terry, Larry, John, and Jake. The “J” sound is enough to perk my ears and interrupt my so-fragile train of thought, and they called Jimmy for so long that I thought maybe the girl had heard my name wrong and went to check, but Terry and Larry are the worst. I’ve been up to the pickup counter three times, and I don’t have a pie. I used to use Zebart as my name in situations like this. I don’t know why I stopped.
Time has passed.
I have my pizza now, and it’s quite good. They just called another Jimmy, another Terry, and another Jake.
Hi, I’m Zebart. How may I help you?
Now I know why your nephew decided to become Gerald.
Or even better, the Mexican kids at school caled me “Geraldo” (har-ol-do)
I’ve know Jerries are annoying for a long time now. Good move on Gerald’s part.
You don’t know how it feels to be “John”.
That’s a problem that Zaphod Beeblebrox never had. (You have read the “Hitchiker’s Guide to the Universe” series?)
Hmmm… maybe I made a naming mistake 14 years ago? Geraldo Zaphod Byrnes …
There are some drawbacks to unusual names. For instance, in Pat’s senior year, his high-school yearbook misspelled “Byrnes” seven different ways. But then again, you don’t have the problem of being mistaken for the Joe Smith who’s on the lam for a series of convenience-store holdups.
Could be worse. You could be “Brian.”
Note to Geraldo: People ALWAYS write down “Heraldo”
For me people have put down:
Burns
Bynres
Burnes
Byrns
Byrne
Byrons
Brynes
Bierns
A lot of these happen when someone is reading my name to someone else and the reader misspronounces it.
I just got thrown off by adverbs. That pesky -ly ending!
And last semester, about half my students thought I was Mrs. Burness. At least I didn’t have too many who thought I was Mrs. Burnoose.
There once was a name
Misspelled from here to Heaven
Bi-er-an-os-uys????
That’s getting awfully close to Beer-o-saurus.
Mmmmm… Beer-o-saurus