It seems the Twilight series is out on a new print run, with a new covers. The covers are striking and pretentious and silly, and I am here to mock them. You don’t have to thank me; it’s what I do.

I had not planned on going to the trouble to find an actual image of this thing, relying instead on my near-mystical abilities of description, but let’s face it, images get the clicks. Here’s the cover:

They did this on purpose

Full disclosure here; I have never read twiliight (apparently) and it’s pretty unlikely I ever will. I have read and enjoyed many things similar to this, even written for a similar demographic, but this whole thing seems pretty awful.

BUT! You will find millions of readers who disagree with me, and the last time I wrote something millions of people liked was never. So my hat is off to the writer of this yarn.

Who is that again?


In other words, “Author of the book you are holding in your hands right now.” Which… I figure is kind of implied already. If you decide to read twiliight because it’s written by the person who wrote Twilight— you know what? You’re perfect for this story.


2 thoughts on “twiliight

  1. I attempted to read Twilight many moons ago and the time I spent reading that piece of crap will be time and I will never get back…

  2. Imagine how much better that cover looks without “AUTHOR OF THE #1 BESTSELLING TWILIGHT SAGA”
    So much more clean and forceful. But people do like to be told they’re dealing with proven success and no taint will acrue to them.
    The apple’s a bit too juicy and symbolic, but i do like the typogrphy, though it too is pointlessly “designy” an artful

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