You may not be able to read this.

I just got word from my service provider that something went wrong when processing my payment for this site. My current payment expires today, and if I don’t get it resolved in time there will be a blackout in the Media Empire. So if you don’t see this message, that’s why.

30 thoughts on “You may not be able to read this.


    Hi, Jerry!

    If I got it right, your Novel Writer works just on Macs. Will there be also a version for Microsoft users? It would come in handy now that NaNoWriMo is getting closer and closer and closer :o)


    Veronika (or Veronnika at NaNoWriMo)

  2. I claim the MoHdom in the name of MoM, who was never rightfully given her rightful day in the MoH spotlight, and the chance to one day be pervious! MoM! All this I do for you!

    Now, it seems to me, in Keeping with the Spirit and Honor of Muddled et al, that when in the presence of the Pervious it shall be thyne honor to buy said Pre-Purveyor a beer.

  3. Bob,
    Isn’t there a law against running out of beer?

    Unless you are Jerry and it is the middle of the night and you are online talking to friends in zany California *true story there*

  4. Alas, the loss of hops will have no effect on the production of Bud Lite, or any of the other things that want you to believe that they are beer but really aren’t.

    Have I mentioned how truly horrible Bud Lite is? No? It’s not good. Not good at all. I feel sorry for the drain when I pour the swill out.

  5. Oh! and a new rule! If your name is Veronika, there is no such thing as off-topic. Seriously.

    Just… talk to me.

    Thus it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that I have no plans to make a Windows version of Jer’s Novel Writer. Rest assured that there are several teams of programmers hard at work stealing my ideas an adapting them in some cheesy-ass over-blown and ponderous application. Also rest assured that eventually there will be a Windows program that gets it right. There are several good programs for them to copy now, so it’s only a matter of time.

  6. Yeah, Jerry, but I wasn’t going to ‘whine’ about your ‘wine whine’ that night.

    God I hate when I am in a punny mood. Double entendres are fine but puns are just cruel.

  7. It’s time for John H and Jer to resurrect their notion that hops are from the same genre or species or sometinerotha as cannibis sativa.

  8. Hi Jer,

    I know everyone has a different set of favorite phases that you’ve written, but “I feel sorry for the drain” is on my top ten.

    I care so little about Bud Light that I can’t match your distain for it.

    My concern is over possible shortages in the varieties of hops used in craft beers.

  9. In fact, I’m moved to Haiku.

    Caution: I can tell going in that this will be sad in a couple of ways, so feel free to edit or delete:

    Bud Light is so vile
    I feel sorry for the drain
    Rhubarb Day is past.


  10. Hops are genus Humulus, cannabis is genus Cannabis, so Jer and I’re risking the ire of the eyers of horticultural accuracy.

    And I’m now expecting a sternly-worded scolding from the Society for the Prevention of Atrocities Against the English Language.

    Still unknown is whether hops can truly be grafted onto cannabis root-stock, resulting in THC-laden hops.

  11. My younger brother brews and grows his own hops. He doesn’t like to risk losing his livelihood (Scripps Ranch area).

  12. Ah, here’s the genius of genetic engineering. You just have to graft the THC-producing gene from cannabis into a high-quality strain of hops.

    No way the feds are going to be able to restrict hops.

  13. You Scoundrel! Consider yourself scolded.

    I’re?? okay that one is sweet.

    genus schmenus, they’re at least related by order maybe? I know! Kingdom.

    since cannibis and hops are in the same kingdom…..

    I say you name it Taxonomy beer.

  14. According to my Canuck friend, a customs dust-up developed over Canadian imported (to the US) hemp horse blankets, because, while imported hemp products are okay, the seeds aren’t and the blankets had too many seeds in them.

    If the guvmint can be that namby pamby, you can bet they’d outlaw hops.

  15. Hi Jesse,

    With all due respect to the SPAAEL, I don’t think “Taxonomy Beer” will fly as a name. I know there are no bad ideas during brainstorming, but how many typical bar patrons will have the verbal ability to order more than two in an evening?

    Now, I’m not a Marketeer (any if anyone out there reading this is, feel free to pile on), but I play one on TV.

    How about this for a starter list:

    Pot Porter
    Jamaica Pale Ale
    Ganja Grolsch
    Grass Amber Ale
    Locoweed Lager


  16. Ha! my fav is hefeweed. That one just gets me laughin.

    But, nay! You can’t say, “Allo mister proprietor, pull me a Tax an’ one fer me mate ‘ere.”?

    But along your line of reasoning, I think a crisp golden pils could get the moniker Mellow Yellow.

  17. Bob busts me for occasional (and perfectly natural and healthy) sexual allusions, and yet he is a pot head? Now the whole story about moving back to the Great Northwest and changing vocations from “foresty products” to “burnable consumables” begins to take on an entirely different (and not so wholesome) light.

    (Bob, that’s “light” as in “illuminate,” not “got a light for my spliff, mon?” just so you know.)

  18. Oh Keith,

    How predictable that your jealousy leads to baseless insults?

    You’re just mad that Jesse finds “Hefeweed” funny and you didn’t think of it.

  19. Gee, maybe I should run some of those ideas by the folks at Socorro Springs. I, too, especially like “Hefeweed,” and “Jamaica Pale Ale” sounds pretty cool.

  20. May I suggest a beer for the designated driver? In honor of N.Kor. how about a Nuclear Winter Pale Ale? That’l sober you up.

  21. Bob,
    Delighted that the Purple Haze of your opium den cleared long enough for you to check in. How are the hydroponics in the green house going? The fact that Jesse (rhymes with “Spicoli”) finds your drug references amusing only confirms my worst fears. I would suggest the FBI move in and save your wife and children from the Colville compound, but they have such a poor record in that area of the country…

  22. Real conversation last night at Socorro Springs. We had a table with a view into the open kitchen, and one of the assistants had a blowtorch which he needed to light in order to brown the sugar on top of a creme brulee. He asked one of the other assistants for help: “Give me a light.”

    I commented to Pat: “At least in THIS place, you’ll never hear the response, ‘No, I meant a Bud Lite’!”

  23. Hi Jesse,

    I like your thinking; many fine micro breweries have a winter ale.

    Jer & John could drop the word “pale” and offer a non-alcoholic, non-THC laden beer for designated drivers (and Keith) called Nuclear Winter Ale.

  24. Hi Keith,

    Delighted that you prove my point so clearly:

    Baseless Insults – 2

    Offering creative names for Jer & John’s forthcoming horticultural & brewing breakthrough – 0.

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