The Secret Ingredient is Disappointment

I’m a fortunate guy by any measure. One bit of proof: My sweetie packs my lunch for me most days. It’s a simple thing, but sometimes it’s the simple things that matter most. One part of the tradition: Each morning I get to pick out the treat for my dessert. The light of my life recently spotted promising-looking boxes of Mrs. Fields cookies on sale and (after checking that the calorie count wasn’t too outrageous) brought them home. Oh boy!


I was considerably less excited when I opened one of the boxes. Roughly 1/3 of the top was empty space. Eight cheerfully-wrapped cookies hunkered down in the depths of the packaging:


But even that was not the end of the cruel charade. I opened one of the packets and discovered… an even smaller cookie within. Less than half the height of the box!


“New Look! Same great taste.” The box proclaims. I’m guessing ‘new look’ is a euphemism for ‘smaller’. The box could quite easily have held 20 cookies rather than eight, and they would have been safer from being bounced around during shipping. Shopkeepers hate this sort of shenanigan as well—they lose precious shelf space to inflated boxes. Walmart does not put up with this shit.

It does explain the reasonable number of calories per cookie, however.

3 thoughts on “The Secret Ingredient is Disappointment

  1. I noticed that the Von’s store brand orange juice advertised itself as “still 64 ounces!” a couple of shopping trips back. Sure enough, most of the name brands have dropped down to 59 or something.

    Mrs. Fields doesn’t have much of an out, though. If they’re dropping the size to keep the price from going up, save something on the packaging, too!

    • Ya see Jer, if you think about it the “right” way, you’ll realize that a full box of full-size cookies would pill on the fatty fat pounds on your svelt physique.

      Jeez ya can’t even try to keep Amerikuh less obese and expect a kind word.

      Oh and don’t anyone tell Jer about the 11.2 oz bottles of Stella Artois.

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