Taking the edge off

“All rightey!” I hear you say. “Jerry’s posted something at last!” [Right. just who do I think I’m fooling?] It’s as if the doorbell rang and you’re expecting your favorite mother-in-law. But when you open the door, what do you see? A burning paper bag. You weren’t born yesterday; you know what’s inside.

That’s how I feel about the last thing I posted. You came for Suicide Squirrel II, and got a serious, if muddled, discussion about the role of government. I stand by whatever I said (I’m sure it will make sense in the morning), and I really hope I get lots of comments that force me to develop my thesis more fully. For the occasional random visitor to this blog, though, it’s pretty heavy.

Hey! Occasional Random Guest! Yeah, you! Don’t you care about our country? Or yours? Don’t step on that bag!

In other news, we got a hit on “car passed over” today. Who the heck would search on that? Got another squirrel guts hit, but it was from an insider. Also got “elevator squirrel ocelot guts rutabaga death cult” a couple of days ago from someone in the Albuquerque public schools. Now who could that have been?

15 thoughts on “Taking the edge off

  1. Actually, the doorbell here goes “bing-bong” and not “ding-dong.” It’s electronic. Turns out there isn’t even a wire connecting the button to the ringer — what if the squirrels don’t even have to push a button, but just send out a radio signal of the right kind?

    As for the hit from the Albuquerque Public Schools, if Mom logs in, you deny all knowledge. The kid’s already in trouble for inviting his buddies over for fajitas without asking his parents for permission to fire up the barbeque.

  2. I’m sure you will be honored to hear that I start my surfing at your site. Dilbert.com has been knocked down to #2.

  3. Hey, Bob! Good to hear from you. I was just thinking about the comment you made when the counter hit 100 just a short time ago. Now look over there —->

    We’re about to cross the 500 line! I’ll be even more excited but the 500th comment.

  4. So, Dr Pants, if that’s your real name, what do you do on No Pants Day? Are you the target of persecution from the anti-pants junta?

    Over at songstowearpantsto.com there is a special no pants day song.

  5. As a side note, any time you read a message from me to Dr. Pants, you should read it in the voice of Sean Connery.

  6. your quest for the role of pants is a good one. In fact, in the beginning, our founding fathers had a HUGE discussion on the role of pants. See any of the Pantaloon Papers by Madison. Why oh why did we favor pants over pantaloons?!?! I say, bring back the pantaloon. Or perhaps Dr. Pants’ already has.

  7. Now I’m sure that the advertizing at the bottom of this window is based on the text of the comments. Right now I’m looking at an ad for a book called Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

  8. Actualy, i think that that was during lunch break, and several people had been talking about rabits jumping on to the road and staying there. Itold them i knew something similar and told them to google squirrel guts, rutabegas, death cults, ocelot, and elevator. By the way you are the top and bottom entry for that search.

    And Mom, it was macaroni, not fijitas. It would have been fajitas if we had any beef.

    Good thinking on the squirrel/doorbell issue.

  9. From my mom’s experiences with the squirrel/doorbell incedent, I know that there will be a burning paper bag. That bag will be a message to all of us to leave the S.S.D.C. alone. We must act before the bag comes.

    Also, what if the squirrels have there own doorbell hidden in the rokc pile beneath the house? The would have unlimeted access and not have to go to the effort of having to telekineticly ring the doorbell. On te other hand, it takes some of the fun out of the delimma.

  10. Woah! we just went from isolated occurance to widespread sightings to a DELEMMA. (how do you spell that?)(you, know, delimma)

  11. The spelling is dilemma. Just think of a pair of lemmas, frolicking in a field, playing their cute little lemma games.

    Then go look up lemma. Hmm… and if you had two of them in conflict…

    Ain’t words a hoot?

  12. I missed no pants day! Dr. Pants, please, a bit more warning next time so I can put a reminder on the ol calendar!

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