Seek and Ye Shall Find

I’m getting tons of google hits by people looking up how to properly prepare their chicken ova. (I’m avoiding sayiing the actual phrase because I want them to get the right entry when they do the search. That is now the most commonly visited page besides this main one.) I also got a hit for Suicide Wings this morning.

Speaking of cooking episodes, I could have sworn I wrote an entry about stir-fry, but now I can’t find it. Anyone remember a stir-fry episode? It would have been when I was in Vanderhoof. I had a disappointing stir-fry there, washed down with and overpriced Warsteiner.

Other noteworthy search engine hits in the last few days (pig latin used where I don’t want to skew future search results):

  • how do x-ray gogs work
  • suicide squirrels
  • am-says ace-play ake-lay ahoe-tay (that one’s been coming up fairly often recently)
  • Escape Velocity SPACESHIPONE
  • “animal crossing” picture “wood paneling” (I’m not sure what they were looking for, but I doubt they found it here)
  • “the elements of style” edmonton
  • Being unemployed sucks
  • hockey dog name

21 thoughts on “Seek and Ye Shall Find

  1. I guess I could also imagine naming a dog after a team (Ranger, Lightning), or after a position (Goalie), or after some other hockey term (Slapshot or Power Play — although I couldn’t imagine naming a dog Icing). Or perhaps the best hockey-related dog name: Stanley.

  2. Brian, Jerry,

    my mozilla won’t do the left hand haiku graphic correctly. Does it in yours? BTW does the haiku automatically rotate? because I get the same blurb everytime.

  3. Now that you mention it – it looks pretty fucked up. I get a different poem every time (just about). Currently, it is displaying the Jer-Miata-sunscreen limerick.

  4. Poop. It looke fine for me, but I have a pretty wide screen. mabe with the wider poems it’s not fitting across on other screens. If I shrink the window way down, the poem comes under the picture. Is this what’s happening for you?

    There are two limericks, and they just don’t fit. I left them in the rotation out of respect for art.

  5. and to pL, the dog is named ‘hosehead’, not ‘hoser’. John Sully and I are watching the movie right now.

    Friggin brilliant.

  6. For me, sometimes the poem rotates (it’s rotating tonight), but sometimes it seems to get stuck on the “looking for America” one. As for the formatting, it never really looks bad, but the limericks do kind of overflow. I have my screen set to medium magnification here at Five O’Clock Somewhere (easier to read after a few drinks) and small in Albuquerque.

  7. I guess the weird thing I’ve noticed about Mozilla is how it seems arbitrary about the favorites list. When I wanted to add this site to the favorites list, it showed up on the favorites list. But when I tried to add Discopants and Haircuts to the favorites list, it showed up on the toolbar instead!

  8. Actually, it’s not a rotation but random. The poem that was written to explain the site shows up half the time.

    There are different ways to do faves in Mozilla – I just drag links to the folders I set up in the favorites tool bar.

  9. Well, color me embarrassed. I dragged my browser wider and the poems appear fine. Guess I shoulda thought of that a long time ago. And why I called a poem on the right hand side of a page left handed…sheesh.

  10. The number-one comment Pat has heard over the past few weeks: “It’s a good thing you’re left-handed.”

    Reminds me of a first-grade teacher I once had. She believed left-handedness was wrong. She was always on the case of the left-handed students, telling them, “If you use your left hand, the signals go to your brain backwards.”

    This made no sense to me; my mother, and one of my grandmothers, and several aunts, uncles, and cousins are (or were) left-handed. As best as I could tell, none of these people were impaired by backwards brain signals.

    Actually, Pat once had an even worse teacher, who believed that it was impossible for left-handed people to be neat, in penmanship or anything else. So while the rest of the class had handwriting drills, Pat didn’t, since this teacher believed there was no point in it. This teacher also made a boundary of duct tape on the floor arount Pat’s desk and designated the area “Pat’s Pen” — the rest of the students had to keep the area around their desks neat, but Pat didn’t, because this teacher believed it to be impossible.

  11. Well, students do indeed live up to the expectations teachers have for them. Pat’s script that sort of passes for handwriting is so awful that people who don’t already know him who see it assume he’s functionally illiterate.

    I also see the effect of low expectations in my students — those who either didn’t graduate from high school or who graduated without learning anything. They’ve come to the community college where I teach because they’ve realized they don’t want to work for minimum wage for the rest of their lives, but they have a lot of catching-up to do. Some of them are my age or older, but most of them have a common background factor — nobody ever expected much from them, so they never expected much from themselves.

    But then I look at the ideas they have, and the connections they make between ideas, which is the core of good writing, and I wonder why nobody ever saw that underlying thought process.

  12. Back to the topic of Internet browsers — the latest hacker attack is so bad that that computer experts quoted in a recent Associated Press news article strongly recommended that Internet users switch to another browser, “such as Mozilla or Opera,” in order to remain safe, especially as Microsoft was not immediately able to come up with a patch to protect IE users.

    A Microsoft spokesman said (of course) that switching to another browser was unwarranted paranoia, and that the “features” of IE inculde “flexibility” so creators of Websites don’t have to adhere to strict standards. The non-Microsoft pundits say that flexibility is exactly what makes IE vulnerable to hackers.

    Anyhow, I’m glad I switched to Mozilla, and I’m glad I talked Pat and Gerald into switching as well.

  13. As for whether the poem rotates, tonight it doesn’t. It’s giving me “looking for america” and nothing else.

  14. The random number is generated on your local machine, but I have to think even Microsoft’s implementation of random() is reasonably random. I suspect that a long run is less noticeable when it is a run of other poems. Sometimes I will muck with the numbers to check a particular poem, but that would make the default poem less frequent rather than more.

    I thought of backing off on the primary poem likelihood, but I decided that giving newcomers a 50% chance of seeing the explanatory poem was worthwhile. Not that any of them come back anyway…

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