You come home from a bar, bladder feeling tight, It’s.. well, golly, it’s after 3 am! Can you come up with the first thing you do that’s geekier than what I just did?
Check email, feed cats, look to see how many comments you got on that oh-so-brilliant blog entry you posted last night (there weren’t any), download a software plugin that you used to have but that’s disappeared from your computer (the whole plugin’s disappeared, been uninstalled and deleted, not just the shortcut to it), then go to use the facilities, but find the toilet flush lever has broken, so you kind of have to turn what’s left of it like a knob.
Sleep. Then dream about how to get Carol Anne to go along with a couple of sailing charters. And dream about stabilizing a temporary gangway comprising finger piers.
Wait a minute, the time signature is wrong. Right now It is 11:46 pm and it says I posted at 9:46. So it was 10:33 in the morning, not 8. I didn’t think I was up that early.
By the way, Cheryl, the Millenial Office Holder’s corner is yours to do with as you wish. Just send me what you want to put in there, and I’ll take care of the rest.
1) plug in computer (battery was run down – that’s why I had to leave the bar.)
2) resume downloading Cutey Honey Flash.
3) set up the router to forward UDP packets on port 6881 to my laptop’s local IP address to improve performance of downloading Cutey Honey Flash.
Apple Rant Part I:
I have listened to many friends who are die-hard apple fans. I have accumulated their hyperbolic sagacity like a grain of silicate accumulates mother-o-pearl. I have just purchased my first apple com-pew-ter. I will celebrate Apples, too. I will become a member of the ranting geeks who forswear pc’s and Microsoft. But first! I shall bitch about Apple, because I am new to this machine, and I never was a puter-geek, and I’m having a LESS THEN PLEASANT TIME….
I feel, that while the Apple emperor in not naked. It is not fully clothed, either. And, see, the thing is, they deserve my rant because they are all about the “have you switched yet?” marketing, trying to get PC users to switch.
So I get my computer home, open up the box, read the words that say, “When you first turn on your computer, the set up wizard will guide you thru setting up your system.” Well, I turn it on, and some sort of VERY obscure, very un-helpful set up thingy comes on, and I try my best to punch in the answers to the questions, and we get to a page that says cannot conect to network, need your username and password. WTF?? Why a network for a home computer? As opposed to an internet? why does it want to connect, and where in all the drivel paperwork is the username and password? I eventually have to call the Apple support. First thing Skippy does is find out when I ordered the pewter so he can calculate the 90 day window I get free support. Not when it arrived in store, or even better when I finally turned it on for the first time (2 weeks later, because it arrived while I was on vacation). So the world’s coolest company can stick it to ya just as well as the PC Man. So anyway, the worl’ds coolest company is employing Skippy, because apparently all the smart people went to work for the Man ( I know, I know, PC stuff sucks so bad, they need the extra brains to sort things out. Whatever). Well, Skippy is stumped as to why the damn thing is asking this question. He puts me on hold to go “research” the problem. 10 minutes later, he is back on the line, clueless, but at least armed with the knowledge that a serious of Skip-around manouvers will by-pass the idiotic window. Eveuntually I am set up. F***in A. FunkMaster G-Force would’ve whacked somebody with a tire iron by now.
Parts II and III coming…
Seems I’ve heard the mantra a thousand times — if you have a PC, you have to have at least a certain level of background knowledge to get it running, but if you have a Mac, it’s all so human-friendly that you won’t have any trouble at all, even if you’re an absolute newcomer to all technology.
It’s more that if you have a PC, you have a network of friends who know people who’ve had that problem before. Here in Prague, I’m already picking up a reputation in a limited circle as a Mac fix-it guy. One person I was helping out had problems because he was confused by that same setup thing. That is NOT the way to get a newbie up and running, and a most un-mac-like how-do-you-do.
Apple Rant part deux,
(right now my plan is for a short, snack rant. We’ll see how many paragraphs I write here)
Word to CA and JS. Yes yes yes, the mac is supposed to be so frickin user friendly, but *not one* of my search questions in the mac help have been answered. Yesterday, I sent a search and the processing icon just ran and ran and ran. And this on a machine that is soooo much faster than my last, and has soooo much more ram. In the meantime I went online and found my answer.
Anyway, the thing I wanted to bitch about this time, was that the day after Skippy helped me set up the imac, I came home from work, got on the machine to set up my internet connection so we can surf. This time the set-up was easy, but for a reason that makes me mad: The internet setup wizard padoodle was already running because the machine had tried to unsuccessfully connect to the internet ON ITS OWN. Sometime in the interim, when I had left off, the imac was trying to connect to the apple site. Maybe to register, maybe for some other nefarious reason. Doesn’t matter, it’s my machine, my info, I don’t want it connecting without my say so. Yes, all computer companies do this, Apple is not alone. But evil is evil, and I expect more from the world’s coolest computer company. If Jimmy Cliff jumped off a Jamaican cliff, would Apple too?
CA has a small rant about privacy on her blog. Word.
It was probably trying to connect to the software update site. In your system preferences you can control if and when it connects. I recommend you have it check for updates periodically, as important security issues can be patched. If you are using a modem, however, this is less important and more time-consming.
The computer at Five O’Clock Somewhere has a regular appointment with the software updater and also the virus-protection updater every week. I’m working on making a similar schedule for the computer in Albuuqerque.
As for the comments window, it was apparently just a very brief temporary glitch with the blog host.
So that is why you didn’t chat long….
Write a comment here?
Check email, feed cats, look to see how many comments you got on that oh-so-brilliant blog entry you posted last night (there weren’t any), download a software plugin that you used to have but that’s disappeared from your computer (the whole plugin’s disappeared, been uninstalled and deleted, not just the shortcut to it), then go to use the facilities, but find the toilet flush lever has broken, so you kind of have to turn what’s left of it like a knob.
Quickly check the site-o-meeter to see if you’ve been deposed?
Sleep. Then dream about how to get Carol Anne to go along with a couple of sailing charters. And dream about stabilizing a temporary gangway comprising finger piers.
checked your news feeds about killer squirrels? You are so selfless.. God bless you…
Assuming Pat has ever arrived home, after 3 am, from a bar, bladder bursting, none of us have any chance of winning the Geek Gold Medal.
Pay no attention to the Gravatar behind the curtain!
I drunk dial Andrew.
He never answers.
Lew, what are you doing up at 8:33 am?
I’m a fellow Piker who works for a midwestern newspaper! But I thought I missed the MOH by 1. Do I have a friend? Can you introduce us?
Most of the geeky things I have done after a late night have involved infomercials. I hope you are more creative than that.
Was it really 8:33 am?
Don’t worry I won’t let it happen again.
.
Wait a minute, the time signature is wrong. Right now It is 11:46 pm and it says I posted at 9:46. So it was 10:33 in the morning, not 8. I didn’t think I was up that early.
lew has something in common with Carol Anne. When possible, CA Does Not Do Mornings.
Sitemeter has a quirk that often when it shows you the number of visitors, it doesn’t count you. But you are the MOH!
I’ll update the main page a little later today.
By the way, Cheryl, the Millenial Office Holder’s corner is yours to do with as you wish. Just send me what you want to put in there, and I’ll take care of the rest.
Welcome to the world of the pre-pervious!
OK, here’s what I did that night (morning):
1) plug in computer (battery was run down – that’s why I had to leave the bar.)
2) resume downloading Cutey Honey Flash.
3) set up the router to forward UDP packets on port 6881 to my laptop’s local IP address to improve performance of downloading Cutey Honey Flash.
Man, on late nights like that, I’m lucky to make it out of the elevator before taking a leak!
Apple Rant Part I:
I have listened to many friends who are die-hard apple fans. I have accumulated their hyperbolic sagacity like a grain of silicate accumulates mother-o-pearl. I have just purchased my first apple com-pew-ter. I will celebrate Apples, too. I will become a member of the ranting geeks who forswear pc’s and Microsoft. But first! I shall bitch about Apple, because I am new to this machine, and I never was a puter-geek, and I’m having a LESS THEN PLEASANT TIME….
I feel, that while the Apple emperor in not naked. It is not fully clothed, either. And, see, the thing is, they deserve my rant because they are all about the “have you switched yet?” marketing, trying to get PC users to switch.
So I get my computer home, open up the box, read the words that say, “When you first turn on your computer, the set up wizard will guide you thru setting up your system.” Well, I turn it on, and some sort of VERY obscure, very un-helpful set up thingy comes on, and I try my best to punch in the answers to the questions, and we get to a page that says cannot conect to network, need your username and password. WTF?? Why a network for a home computer? As opposed to an internet? why does it want to connect, and where in all the drivel paperwork is the username and password? I eventually have to call the Apple support. First thing Skippy does is find out when I ordered the pewter so he can calculate the 90 day window I get free support. Not when it arrived in store, or even better when I finally turned it on for the first time (2 weeks later, because it arrived while I was on vacation). So the world’s coolest company can stick it to ya just as well as the PC Man. So anyway, the worl’ds coolest company is employing Skippy, because apparently all the smart people went to work for the Man ( I know, I know, PC stuff sucks so bad, they need the extra brains to sort things out. Whatever). Well, Skippy is stumped as to why the damn thing is asking this question. He puts me on hold to go “research” the problem. 10 minutes later, he is back on the line, clueless, but at least armed with the knowledge that a serious of Skip-around manouvers will by-pass the idiotic window. Eveuntually I am set up. F***in A. FunkMaster G-Force would’ve whacked somebody with a tire iron by now.
Parts II and III coming…
Whenever I’ve seen that helpful wizard, I’ve hit cancel. Nothing good can come of shit like that.
Seems I’ve heard the mantra a thousand times — if you have a PC, you have to have at least a certain level of background knowledge to get it running, but if you have a Mac, it’s all so human-friendly that you won’t have any trouble at all, even if you’re an absolute newcomer to all technology.
The emperor is wearing a Speedo.
It’s more that if you have a PC, you have a network of friends who know people who’ve had that problem before. Here in Prague, I’m already picking up a reputation in a limited circle as a Mac fix-it guy. One person I was helping out had problems because he was confused by that same setup thing. That is NOT the way to get a newbie up and running, and a most un-mac-like how-do-you-do.
Apple Rant part deux,
(right now my plan is for a short, snack rant. We’ll see how many paragraphs I write here)
Word to CA and JS. Yes yes yes, the mac is supposed to be so frickin user friendly, but *not one* of my search questions in the mac help have been answered. Yesterday, I sent a search and the processing icon just ran and ran and ran. And this on a machine that is soooo much faster than my last, and has soooo much more ram. In the meantime I went online and found my answer.
Anyway, the thing I wanted to bitch about this time, was that the day after Skippy helped me set up the imac, I came home from work, got on the machine to set up my internet connection so we can surf. This time the set-up was easy, but for a reason that makes me mad: The internet setup wizard padoodle was already running because the machine had tried to unsuccessfully connect to the internet ON ITS OWN. Sometime in the interim, when I had left off, the imac was trying to connect to the apple site. Maybe to register, maybe for some other nefarious reason. Doesn’t matter, it’s my machine, my info, I don’t want it connecting without my say so. Yes, all computer companies do this, Apple is not alone. But evil is evil, and I expect more from the world’s coolest computer company. If Jimmy Cliff jumped off a Jamaican cliff, would Apple too?
CA has a small rant about privacy on her blog. Word.
Speaking of CA, her comments window wouldn’t work yesterday. If she reads this, she may take a look. It may have been a temporary glitch.
It was probably trying to connect to the software update site. In your system preferences you can control if and when it connects. I recommend you have it check for updates periodically, as important security issues can be patched. If you are using a modem, however, this is less important and more time-consming.
The computer at Five O’Clock Somewhere has a regular appointment with the software updater and also the virus-protection updater every week. I’m working on making a similar schedule for the computer in Albuuqerque.
As for the comments window, it was apparently just a very brief temporary glitch with the blog host.
Hey, Tell John H that I like gravitar and miss it on those lonely suddenly-sobering evenings (or is it called morning by that time?)