Another Piece at Piker Press

Just a quick note to let you guys know that I have another bit as the cover story on this week’s Piker Press. Unfortunately the press had some computer difficulties last week at the same time I decided to make some minor changes to the story, and those changes are not in the version they published. I’m still pretty happy with it, though. Take a look!

31 thoughts on “Another Piece at Piker Press

  1. Yeah, I’m two for two on having the cover story (a streak that will be broken next week when they will run a nonfiction bit I wrote).

    Not as obvious is that Fuego and I actually created the cover image this week. It didn’t come out the way I really wanted it to, but then I was ready for that.

  2. Congratulations to pL-Fuego-Lee on becoming MOH10K7.

    While I will always take pride in the modest accomplishments of my term (Holidays on the Twoths, Beer Haiku Quiz, continuing advancement of the appreciation for beer, satire, and the rest), I am sure we are all eagerly anticipating the significant and substantive contributions that are in store for us during the Fuego administration.

    Judging by the most recent polling data, it appears that our community (sniff) is keenly interested in silly, sexy squirrels. Given that, I doubt we could find anyone better suited to be MOH10K7 than Lee.

    Thank you all. It has been a pleasure and an honor to serve.

    Doubly pervious,


  3. Yes, thank you Bob. Although perhaps not as pervious as your two terms, I will, in your shadow, strive to bring more of what the People want to MR&HBI. Now, the polling data suggests that they want silly sexy squirrels…but then we must ask: who is really voting here? And, also, we must realize that, through no fault of its own, MR&HBI has, on its own accord, brought about something that, you and I both know, Bob, the voters really want, and that is class. MR&HBI has voted for itself, and the Cosmic Unconsciousness has answered. I hereby gratefully accept the office of MOH10K7, and can only hope circumstances will one day grant me a license plate to match.

  4. Is anyone else disquieted by the fact that one of pL’s first acts as MOH is to question the legitimacy of the polling process? Isn’t this an attack on the foundations of democracy? Is the power of MOHdom corrupting young Lee already? (If so, that was quick even by MR&HBI standards.)

    Beware! There is a short and slippery slope between thinking you know what people “really want” (as opposed to what they vote for) and throwing them in a gulag to be forced prison labor churning out your vanity license plates.

  5. Yes, Mr. XMOH, I see your heart is still in the Oval CPU! I have to say, thank you for the good idea! MR&HBI license plates! We can add them to the list of items for sale, even put Silly Sexy Squirrels so that the three people actually voting will be sure to get them! Yes, the truckloads of cash streaming in from the products already on the market will soon be traveling in long convoys! And with this money, the Not For Sale Party, the political arm of MR&HBI, can begin the long, arduous journey to the white house. A process where democracy and voting is an even poorer reflection of the ‘voting’ populace. As Mr. MOH10K7 (which you have to admit, would make a nice license plate), I declare we need voting reform…not for MR&HBI, but for the US of A! Put the elections on Pollhost, and let’s get an ‘accurate’ view of what Americans want! I also think there needs to be more of a random, and yet Devine, influence in American Politics. Once again, MR&HBI is leading the way by providing a system where the Gods choose who is qualified to lead, and not the electorate at all! Even more so than Shrub, the MOH is chosen by God. It is up to us, the Chosen, (you can attest to this, Pervious Bob) to use our Devine right to steer the people to what is right and good. While there are three people here who think that is Silliness, or Squirrels, or Sex, is what this site really needs (and even they are not in agreement about Silly, Sexy, Squirrels!) sadly the majority of the MR&HBI populace, much like our current American System of ‘Democracy’, have not been voting! They are the ones that need Devine intervention! Let the Gods decide who shall decide, and the Gods have spoken.

  6. I don’t know about your gods, but the Almighty Google Ads has not spoken to me about voting, about silly squirrels, about poll hosing, about 900 foot Jesuses, or about calling me home. But I just bet he/she has something to say about vanity plates. I await its message on tenterhooks.

  7. Just back from Piker Press. Great story! None of us can ever tell exactly what an author is thinking, but for me it reminds me of the Crossroads story. Cowboy Bob. That’s an awesome name. When I was in Austin, I worked with an african american from rural Texas, and he used to talk about Petey Wheatstraw. It’s interesting the names that people have come up with for ol’ hige.

  8. All I’m saying is be careful. It is more likely that you are MOH through a combination of determination, time zones and dumb luck than through some sort of divine selection by almighty (or at least mighty enough to rig the site meter) gods.

    While grandiose self delusion may have been an element of earlier MOH administrations (and you know who I mean), it doesn’t have to be part of the current role.

    As for the USA, it is my hope that as more people come to appreciate good beer (as well as good bars, good bartenders, and the good beer they serve) they will become more peaceful and more aware of the world beyond the U.S. borders. In such a view, MR&HBI is very much a part of the solution.

  9. I hadn’t thought of crossroads specifically, but now that you mention it there’s no denying it’s there. The ending they failed to publish had the paper as a more significant token, with the implication that the skill and torment had been passed on for hundreds of years.

    Maybe it is more than just a passing fancy when the piano player wishes the skill would rub off on him when he shakes hands with Cowboy Bob. Maybe that’s when he makes the deal. It works for me.

    I don’t know that Cowboy Bob is Ol’ Scratch, or at least not all the time, but they’re sure to recognize each other in the supermarket. And Cowboy Bob knows how to ring Nick’s doorbell.

  10. Or perhaps he’s MOH because we staggered home at 5:30 am and he said “Hey, turn off the blocking for this address, I want to see what the count is.” (If you for a moment think I could accurately portray what he really said, all I can say is pff.)

    I allowed Sitemeter to count this IP address and fuego checked in. One short. He fired up another browser and bingo he was in. So it was a combination of Blind-ass luck and quick thinking.

    At the time, I didn’t notice any divine (or devine) intervention, but I was tired,

  11. Oooohhh, what a story. Now I’ve got the Moonlight Sonata wrapped around my brain, and it won’t let go. The last two times that happened, bad things followed. I had “Ring of Fire” stuck in my head for a week, and then Johnny Cash died. I had “Try to Remember” stuck in my head for three days, and then Jerry Orbach died. At least Beethoven’s already dead.

  12. What do you think made us go to the last bar, the one that closed just in time for us (or, more me here) to sign on and be counted? The Gods, of Course! It is important to note that these particular Gods are beer drinkers too (and they like Gambrinus). That’s why they wanted us to have those last few Gambrini. What better way to delay us just enough so that I could speak for them to their faithful here at Muddled Inc.! Not so much to be a Millennial Office Holder as Millennial Regent for the Gods of Beer (and Satire)!

  13. I was wondering why that bar closed at all, considering it opens again two hours later, but then I realized it was because of people like us.

  14. It’s possible that pL is already beyond the point of no return (at least until he becomes a pervious MOH and, with hope, returns to sanity and humility).

    In the mean time, I offer the following assessment of the first portion of his term:

    pL demagogue

    Believes gods live in bottles

    Holy Gambrini

  15. Hello soon-to-be-pervious MOH10K7,

    Yes, I’m sure. Look it up.

    You mention March 2 (which I hope is a poetic version of March the Twoth) in your poem. Do you have a name in mind for that holiday?

    FYI, your terms is 1/4 over and, based on the traffic projection, you may not be in office on Oughto Oughto Day.

    Where are your initiatives? What is you assessment of the State of the Blog? In short, what have you done for us lately?

    Best regards,

  16. Jer may write Muddled Ramblings, but when it comes to Bob, pL and Keith, I think their bit should be called Maddled Rumblings. No flamewar, just some pervious contention. With a bit of poll hosing (see my entry above), whatever that is.

    More hosing now!

  17. testing anonymous. testing.

    aha! – my testing experiment above shows that when you “preview” and then make changes, it eliminates your name. And if you don’t go back to check…


  18. Well, Pervious Bob, on the open front here at Muddled, it would appear that I have not been actively putting my thumb print on the general structure and tone of the blog. However, one must consider the behind the scenes work, the thankless jobs that no one notices unless they aren’t done. The little things like buying Beers for Jerry, our Muddled Creator; or helping him think about talking to the sexy waitresses and real estate agents. In these little ways, I have been keeping the blog going, and at the same time, giving it more class, as I promised so many poems ago. And yes, P.B., I am thinking that March the Twoth Third, and Forth should be International Goose-Stepping Days, as we March 2, Back, and 4th.

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