While all you across the big pond yet entertain cavorting sugar plums, here in Old Europe the day is under way (I hear my two Japanese readers scoff). I woke earlyish this morning, and actually felt a little of the season creeping into my curmudgeonly old soul. On a whim I pulled out a CD that I’ve been dragging around with me, wondering why the whole time. It’s called Tierra Santa. Tierra Santa is a suburb of San Diego, and this is a collection of original Christmas music by San Diego musicians. Many of those singer/songwriters have gone on to vanish into obscurity, but a few of them are plugging away ten years later. I haven’t listened to this CD in years, but for some reason it was in my CD case when I hit the road, and here it is. This morning it’s justifying itself.
Most years Christmas is just like any other day for me, but not this year. Last night Marek (an aspiring photographer and bartender at Roma) gave me a really nice card featuring one of his prints. It’s beautiful. And later today, I will be published.
Now, before you get too excited, this is a fairly small deal. It’s a little online publication, but it has actual Editors and standards and stuff, so it is a little bit of a big deal. Most of you that read this will already be familiar with The Cowboy God. Today readers of The Piker Press (www.pikerpress.com/) will see a slightly edited version.
No white Christmas here in Prague, but that’s OK. It’s snowing somewhere. And my sincere thanks go out to all of you who have wished me well. I hope the season finds you happy and prosperous, and closer to your dreams. And when I say I’m a writer and people ask, “Have you published anything?” I can answer “yes”. I guess it is a big deal.
It’s snowing somewhere. It’s five o’clock somewhere. And yesterday it was snowing at Five O’Clock Somewhere.
Lost Almost has snow on the ground today, so we do have the proverbial White Christmas. Of course, we have the cold that goes with it as well…we had a low of 4′ (and I ain’t whistling Fahrenheit, baby) the other night.
Not so sure which scale you weren’t whistlin’. 4’C is above freezing and leads to that nasty spitting rain that no one can appreciate. 4’F is dang cold. 4 K (not to be confused with 4’K, which is just plain wrong) is really, really, really cold. Really. End of the world cold, of we’re talking weather.
So what does that make Mr. 7K?
Read the Cowboy bit, good to see yer werks in the ol’ black n white.
Rain towers! Damn you and your rain towers! It’s ok, I think we can get a new paint job for the Hoteslmobile out of it. Two cast, one location, it has posibilities…but don’t you think it needs something more? Something like…I don’t know…some Polka?
Jer,
I received a confusing voice-mail from pL today — you’re preparing a screenplay treatment of “The Cowboy God,” and you’re incorporating a polka band? You’ve got my number, right?
I love the concept. Oh, and the story. Now, in the final version the “church mouse” will be a babe, right? pL tells me your people have been in contact with Linda Carter’s people… is he shitting me?
By the way, can I read for the lead? (Not to call in any favors from our work on “And then She Walked In”…)
One last thought… “Cowboy Church,” or “Whore Church”? Although really, it’s up to you. Have your people call our (pL and my) people.
Linda’s been phoning me every hour on the hour since word of the production leaked, but I’m not sure she’s the one for the role. I’m looking for someone who’s a bit spookier.
“I can do spooky!” she says at the start of every call.
“No, Linda,” I reply patiently, “I’m not looking for restraining-order spooky, which you are doing very well, I looking for a more quiet, other-worldy sort of spooky.”
“Other worldly? I was Wonder Woman for chrissakes!”
“We still haven’t decided, Linda. I’ll let you know as soon as we do.”
“Who else are you considering? You’re not going to use that anorexic little Buffy bitch are you?”
“Goodbye, Linda.”
“I’ll cal back in a while and see if you have any questions for me. I don’t think my cell is working. It doesn’t ring when you call.”
And on it goes. Honestly I don’t think Sara Michelle Gellar is perfect for the role either, but she’d do in a pinch.
As for the rain towers, we could always shoot all the interior stuff and then camp out in Clovis until the next big storm. Wouldn’t that be fun! I’m thinking the paint job the Hotelsmobile already has is too good.
I’ll be writing the polka into the script in the next few days, and converting all the dialog to haiku. And of course the Jesse Monkey will be in there as well.
Allright! Sounds like things are really coming toghether!
Congratulations on being published! When will you get your first royalty check? Will you have it framed or just immediately converted to pivo?. It could be a mantra – write, get paid, buy beer, drink beer, repeat.
Since it sounds like open season on making suggestions for the movie deals, one can imagine the polka band shooting holy water from their spit valves as covering fire to keep the demons at bay.
Congrats Jer. Happy Holidays. It’s snowing here, but that’s not a surprise.
Bob, that sounds like an excellent mantra to me. There will be no framing of royalty checks. They go straight to the beer store, baby!
Piker Press does not pay non-staff writers, but I am starting to look into paying markets. (On the other hand, I retain full rights to any work PP publishes.) I’ll need to get lots of work into the pipeline before writing will cover all my pivo costs; even most paying markets don’t pay much, and it can be months between submission and paycheck.
Jerry,
Just dropped in to have a look around. Great cover on the press, bytheway. I enjoyed it. I’d also happily share some of the snow from here if I could.
Hope you are having a great holiday!
~ Audie