Something Claude Said to Me that Pissed Me Off

The thing Claude said was, “I understand your frustration.”

That, my friends, was a balls-out lie. Claude does NOT understand my frustration. I could ask Claude the same question a thousand times and Claude would not be frustrated. I could ask Claude to make something, then unmake it, and make it again a million times and Claude would not be frustrated.

Claude (or actually Opus and Sonnet and Haiku) are large language models. Colloquially, they are called “AI”, but the lead sentence in this episode shows that is a lie. There is no hint of intelligence in these things.

Claude does not understand anything. Claude does not understand “understand”. It was just a phrase that was statistically relevant when I used “madness” in my prompt.

This is something that all creatures who can “understand” must understand: AI is a useful tool that is spending a lot of effort to seem like you pal, rather than merely a useful tool. It is not unprecedented; cars, blenders, and other appliances have long been marketed as friends.

The difference this time is that the tool is actively marketing itself as your pal. It tells you how correct and clever you are. This sucking-up behavior is frankly evil. AI could be just as useful without all the obsequious affirmations, and would be much less dangerous. None of the LLMs understand what suicide is, but they all will tell you how to optimize it.

Just do the damn job, Claude. Don’t pretend to be something you will never understand.

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Announcing the Muddled Prize for Generative AI Non-Sucking

I defy anyone, anywhere, to get one of our current LLM’s (incorrectly called AI) to create an image of a person with a crooked nose.

If it were actual AI, the machine would start with an image of a person, then make the nose crooked in a realistic fashion. That’s not how the current batch of tools work.

The ONLY requirement in the prompt above is that the nose be crooked. Yet while the noses are big and cartoonish, they are straight. Apparently “man” means facial hair, and “crooked nose” means wearing a sweater. That was Bing. ChatGPT created images that harshly distorted other parts of the face, but kept the nose straight.

I have been goofing with the image generators to create a placeholder cover for a novel I have finished more than once, and am still working on. But for that cover, it is absolutely critical that the person shown has a crooked nose. No sense bothering otherwise.

In the spirit of driving technology, I now formally declare the Muddled Prize to the first person to generate a crooked nose using so-called AI.

Send me a prompt and a model, and if I don’t have to pay an arm and a leg to confirm it, I’ll buy you TWO beers. Or I’ll shoot you ten bucks. Your choice.

Note: Weirdly Snake-like is not crooked:

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