Traveling at the Speed of Google

A long list this time. I didn’t bother with obfuscation, a decision I may revisit.

  • squirrel pants law Linked to two different episodes: SSDC and My Pants.
  • “yellow brick road” meaning – If metaphor is what the searcher wanted, The American Road Myth isn’t bad.
  • movie accidents of Garfield – this was a search on A9, which at least wants to appear to be affiliated with Amazon. My hoping that Marmaduke would choke to death on Garfield’s corpse pulled a visitor into a fairly incoherent episode.
  • chilly midriff – the searcher went through some 320 hits before arriving at my page, only to discover that Google was out of date and the references to small shirts and cold weather had been pushed off the main page. In the search I was in fine company, clearly, wedged between “nauseating repugnant and therefore very cool” and “Yo mama”.
  • butch girl haircuts remarkable because the word haircuts appears nowhere in the episode, none of the words are in the title, yet the episode came in second in google’s list. (The episode gets a lot of hits for its mention of specific bars; all I can figure is some of that love rubbed off.)
  • electromagnetic bomb scheme build – linked to the get poor quick category page; most of the word matches were in the Reusable Space Vehicle episode.
  • space launch cannon here’s the followup to the reusable space vehicle episode
  • drinking from the stanley cuphere
  • ramblings of a drunken man – main page
  • “and that’s the way it always is”Megan
  • the brief explanation about AM radio – well, this site is a bastion of science…but in this case no science was to be found here.
  • jeans for real women – linked to an episode about my pants.
  • gyroscope balanced motorcycles – there’s it’s gonna work, I tell you.
  • roxie blog OR journal “san francisco” -cinema -theatre -theater – all that and they still came here.
  • san diego fern bar – I have to wonder why anyone was looking for a fern bar, no matter where it’s located.
  • dew barrymore and clovis – a typo and a weird convergence of words led to the homeless tour category page.
  • ideas techniques expose skirt – a stripper looking for professional advice, or someone needing a new half-baked invention? Votaw, I want the blueprints on my desk by Wednesday.
  • “the frogs” band virginia “yeah yeah yeah”
  • shy dogs facts and pitchers – that misspelling gets me lots of business
  • poker’mon pitchers – what do you get when you cross a hick with a anime fan?
  • freeloading counter linked the episode where I borrow broadband from Jojo.
  • beeristers – I’m surprised more people haven’t used this word. I used here while wondering about a girl across the bar.
  • i only make passes at cowboy asses – somehow I don’t think The Cowboy God is really what they were looking for
  • holiday ticker – ’cause you gotta know what’s coming up!
  • flashing breasts – only notable because msn ranked me number 4 for this search.
  • PARTY GAMES WITHOUT WRITING.COM – ’cause so many party games require literacy
  • “Tiki Hut Girls”
  • “this means nothing” interesting only because this meant nothing
  • skoda store – linked to a very brief observation about the effect of cars on an unsuspecting society
  • i have lost my pants
  • VIDA ……………………………OGLING – an episode like this one was top of the list for this odd query
  • i have lost my pants – linked to the episode where I paid tribute to my pants
  • Cartoon Poodles – linked to the main page here, due to the episode where I picked a fight with a poodle
  • define ssdc comcast net – the other search results didn’t mention squirrels at all! What gives?
  • prague guide “budvar bar” – linked to main page.
  • how to get getting started in arial photography – linked to the get-poor-quuick category page. I think they were looking for aureola photography, but I’m not sure.
  • scary squirrel sex
  • step to step guides on how to use bed hoists? – the new egg episode caught their eye.
  • breakfast rhymes with – linked to an episode about Ely, NV.
  • “why people go to bars” – you need a reason? Linked to my episode from oh, so long ago about bartenders.
  • telecom tower praha babies – someone else fascinated by the giant freaks. Did not link to the episode with the pictures.
  • BIG ASS BEER – I like the exuberance expressed in the search.

All the usual suspects have been well-represented, but February was the slowest month here in a long time, partly due to Google deciding that I wasn’t the Egg Guru it used to think I was. Perhaps it suspected me of being a Google-bomber. For a while I actually got a better feel for how many people come here on purpose, and it was better than I thought. As of yesterday, the egg-friers are back with a vengeance, though. The reign of The Mr11K3 will soon come to an end.

13 thoughts on “Traveling at the Speed of Google

  1. Mr.11K3? I had forgotten there was one. Perhaps he’s taken his Fire Eel up in the Plane to snap some shots of, well, best left unsaid.

  2. What, are we experiencing a drought of egg-frying googlers? I am disappointed with the latest results.

    Can we get an amendment into the MR&HBI constitution that takes into account what happens when the MOH goes into a literary coma?

    Look for my electromagnetic skirt removal device soon!

  3. Hogwash. “That MOH is best which comments least.”

    Besides, if I had lots of interesting stuff to write I’d have my own damned blog.

  4. Why is it that my site only seems to contain links from people looking for haircuts?!!! I suppose your vernacular is more extensive than mine.

    Also, thanks for adding No Pants Day to the ticker!

  5. Forensics are difficult when my Internet access is sporadic, but I think the new MOH is a regular – but I’m not sure which one. If I had to guess I’d say Adam, but I would have figured he would have stepped forward with the news.

    An East-coast egg frier was close and loaded several pages, but I’m calling the pacbell,net visitor the winner if we can figure a way to determine who that was.

  6. I believe that was voted into reality durring the last MOH administration. Unless in you secret dealings you changed the mandate.

  7. For what it’s worth, I Googled “eggs over easy” about a week ago, and Jer’s blog didn’t show up on the first dozen or so pages. It seems Google is indeed protecting us from the egg fryers.

    And, pardon me if I cause a squabble, but it was during John’s MOHhood that there was a four-day stretch during which this blog was frozen — neither from Five O’Clock Somehwere nor from Albuquerque would the blog load properly, neither with IE nor with Mozilla, and since nobody else made any posts during that period, I must conclude that I wasn’t the only person having those problems.

    So while that MOH governs best which governs least, it is also true that there are some duties that only the MOH can perform, and those duties, the MOH must perform.

    I would suggest that, in the absence of anything that clearly identifies the new MOH, someone should be nominated as acting MOH who has a clear mandate of some sort, such as the first COH of Beer and Trucks.

  8. Just the phrase “eggs over easy” doesn’t score MR&HBI very high, but perfect eggs over easy puts both episodes right at the top. There was a period of about ten days when there was no egg search that had my page at all, but the fryers are back now, yes, sir.

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