The Man Is Keepin’ Me Down

This just in from the parental news service:

Some of you are probably already aware of my penchant for stacking rocks upon each other when the opportunity presents itself. In Prague, although the streets and sidewalks are often made of stones, pulling them up and stacking them is discouraged. But this! This is an outrage! I think the photo was taken in Hawaii somewhere.
Apparently in Hawaii they don’t appreciate art. Sure, sure, they use rock piles to mark the trails and people would wander off, get lost, and fall into a volcano, but that’s a small price to pay, don’t you think?

You see where this is heading, don’t you? First it’s public safety, just an isolated case, nothing to worry about. But then, once the anti-stackists have a foothold, they will work away, slowly eroding our God-given right to balance stones up one another, gradually stigmatizing the practice until rock-stacking will only be done in remote areas and well-protected compounds in the desert.

I am outraged!

14 thoughts on “The Man Is Keepin’ Me Down

  1. Ou might oughta start looking for a compound of your own, before they are all swiped up in a frenzy of rock stacking madness!

  2. Perhaps you are unaware, but in California, it is already against the law to stack rocks in public buildings. Even in bars, you must excuse yourself and go outside to play a little Jenga. We take the effects of second-hand rock stacks very seriously. Signs outside our building warn employees on their stack breaks, “No Stacking within 20 feet of building.” Finally, I hear there is a bill making its way through Sacramento that will ban rock stacking inside any car with children present.

  3. When Rock Stacking Is Outlawed,

    Only Outlaws Will Stack Rocks.

    Your Stacking Rights are Teetering On The Narrowest of Legislative Balances.

    Stay Stacked and Protect Your Stacked Rocks!

    Join the National Rockstacking Association Now!

    Oh, the precarious balance of it all. And remember, never stack rocks on glass houses.

  4. Where do you guys get these squirrel stories? Is there a news feed that you subscribe to and filter for “suicide squirrel”? Or do you just Google on squirrel, and ignore it when MR&HBI shows up?

  5. A. Squirrel-Watch. I can just sense when there is squirrel news afoot.

    B. I will never divulge my sources. I’d hate for word of a leak got back to SSDC HQ. “Deep-cheeks” would get whacked.

    C. Squirrely Joe tips me off.

    Take your pick.

  6. Bill, The squirrel in your story wasn’t really a white squirrel. He was actually covered in Mayo and trying to escape the fate that befell the Mustard-covered squirrel (from my story). Alas, Mayo-squirrel was snuffed by the driver. At least he didn’t get “delivered” as a message.

    • While I’m curious how you came to find this 13-year-old tongue-in-cheek expression of outrage against governments impinging on individuals’ rights to stack stones one upon another, even more I want to know if you were serious or just drunk when you wrote that.

      Mr. Burned, you throw random bombs into blog comments for your ego. I hope it makes you happy.

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