Quite a lot of the traffic to this site is thanks to Google and the other search engines. I imagine that most of those drawn here with the promise of a match on their phrase take one look, say “Well that wasn’t what I was looking for,” and leave again post-haste. Nevertheless, I like to browse through the search phrases that brought people here from time to time, just to get a feel for the odd things people want to find. Some of the things I list below are there for entertainment, while others are there because the link back to episodes I like. Think of this as an index to my site compiled by a dyslexic teenager with raging hormones.

• where is the rubble from Japan? – Where indeed has all that rubble got to?
• how to write a nursing reflection essay – visitor 40404 landed, improbably, on an episode about writing without fear that I happen to like.
• threat level indicator – It seems most of the other threat level indicators out there are for silly things like pandemics and stuff. Fortunately the SSDC threat meter ranks right up there with the top matches on Google.
• sexy nymphs stickers – attracted to the verbal pot-luck that is the observations category
• sex pitchers – more economical than sex by the glass
• band rush bobblehead dolls – that just seems wrong on so many levels.
• how much for a single rose? – Oh, you are only beginning to pay the price when you fish out your wallet.
• “rat trap” bucket bacon – another poetry candidate. Anyone want to make a bit of verse that uses this? Connected to a chapter one that starts and ends well. Natasha is cool.
• “bad song” daniel powter – could the searcher actually have been looking for my version?
• respectable breast – rated high in google, where, nestled among the more predictable results, was a brief discussion of the American Road Myth, an essay that has since been improved here.
• “you’re “selling past the close” again – linked to a tour through my unfinished business, an even more muddled ramble than usual, but there are some interesting bits.
• ned’s albuquerque – sitting in a bar after a long drive.
• some people ruin their drinks with ice” – a lyric I quote in an episode about a particularly good day.
• Tallest Structure before 1889 – This recent episode is already attracting attention. (The answer is in the comments.)
• english story writing-it was raining heavily i dashed in a deserted building – the Stories category page seems to have hit on many of those words.
• born guy but had sex change now woman with pics – surprisingly, the Stories category page came up on top in Yahoo, despite just a smattering of matching words. No, no pics, and no sex changes, either.
• origin of the sestina – Google has decided that I have the explanation the world will most want to see. Google is dead wrong.
• bud light taste nasty – oh, yes it does
• we met a the sports bar on sat in mesquite – but was Bobbi there?
• fotbol slang – I don’t know any, but I’m still the top match for an episode in which the Czechs qualified for the world cup (barely)
• smoll bar – a new addition to the list of bar names people search for
• speed bowling – the precursor to team bowling
• pregnant and constant headrush – believe me, there’s nothing on this site that could possibly be of interest on that subject, but there is always the Homeless Tour category page.
• sunshine company ocean beach – a bar mentioned in this episode
• strasnice – Google’s first match was for “Find a Grave”. My episodes that mentioned the Haunted City came quite a bit farther down.
• beyond yotta – the rest of the scientific community is beginning to show interest in my pioneering work
• haircuts by drunk man – That might yield some interesting results. No haircuts in this episode, but there is drunk.
• “I LIKE THIS BAR” – not a bad search string — you could combine it with a city name before you go anywhere and find a good place to hang. Like, for instance, here.
• sabotaging brakes – someone should have put the brakes on this episode, I suspect
• to inspect mimeographed miles – an odd phrase, that, but there’s been more than one search for it landing here lately. Perhaps it is a line in a poem or pop song or something. Miles strike me as being rather difficult to mimeograph, although that might explain Kansas. Cowboy God was the number two hit.
• How Many People Owned Televisions in 1950 – I have no idea, and I suspect the searcher came away from the Homeless Tour category page none the wiser.
• as i drove she began to rub my crotch – linked not to stories from my road trip (there is not crotch-rubing there, I promise you), but to my Stories category page.
• “Bar and Books” Prague – another bar I mention
• trouble with trendy fern bars – I don’t have trouble with them, per se
• “slush pile” “magazine of fantasy & science fiction” – the searcher came to the writing category page, but was probably looking for the Slush God.
• lil j’s sports bar, san angelo, tx – another in my legacy of bar stories that rate higher than the sites for the bars themselves (if the bar even has a site). Maybe there’s a business opportunity there…
• sad music – buried way deep in Google’s results was a link to a brief episode where I wonder what might have been.
• menorca call girls – this is not the place to find out about those, but don’t tell Google.
• kundera essays – if not call girls, then perhaps the writings of a celebrated Czech author. Linked to the Stories category.
• moonlight sonata story – Well, I have a story called Moonlight Sonata with which I’m fairly pleased, but not THE story of Moonlight Sonata. I have improved the sotry since, but this version is still pretty good.)
• “en vogue girl” – Ah, the key line in the lyrics to Cutey Honey Flash!
• first time auditions daisy – linked to an episode about my experiences
  casting Pirates.
• “embarrassment to our country”bush – linked to the episode long ago where I declared my candidacy for president last election.
• why do sneezes come in threes? – linked to a not-very-good chapter one.
• nature of bowling – not so surprising that Team Bowling would show up, buried deep in a list of results. In fact, it was right before an article called “Aggression in Invertebrates”.
• hiking stacking.rocks – the dot did not interfere from MSN recognizing a kindred spirit.
• cadíz – I’m surprised my episode about Cadíz ranked so high (5th out of 37,000), but it was the Czech Google, so maybe the presence of a few czech words here and there worked in my favor. Or maybe not — maybe it was my use of the accented í without the accented a. Czech Google may be more accent-sensitive, as are the czechs.
• 9 bastards of the World – top match on Yahoo linked to a brief episode about Skype bringing cheap bastards of the world together.
• can pomegranates cause flatulence in some people – came from a search engine I’d never seen before. Linked to the main page where I still have an episode that mentions Persephone and farting.
• road food weed california – included here as an excuse to link back to an old episode about my trip to Weed, a rambling episode from early in my ramblings.
• Jerry Seeger – quite a few people recently have been looking for me by name. I must confess I always have to check where they’re from. I know, I know, but I just can’t help it. New York is suddenly an exciting place for someone interested in me to be from. They have agents there.

Of course, there are the perennial favorites – Egg friers and those looking for lyrics to theme songs for very silly anime. Several people have come looking for suggestions about what to write in yearbooks, while others are attracted to descriptions of particular bars. In the last two days, there has been a surge in people searching for Suicide Squirrels, which makes me think it’s time to review the threat level meter.

I get a few hits from image searches as well. The picture titled Rain in San Angelo gets a surprising number of hits. Go figure.

What does this all mean? Are the search engines providing a cross-section of modern thought? I hope not.

Sweet!

Thanks!