Score:
Structure: 21
Life Forms: 16
Style: 21
Originality: 23
Total score: 81A very interesting universe. Your concepts of ‘gravity’ and ‘light’ really added a fresh twist to the old Big Bang style of universe. Generally universes unfold better without direct intervention from the creator, but in this case the miracles are done with a delicate touch and seem to work. But to what purpose? To create a whole ‘planet’ full of beings that seem to serve no purpose other than to slaughter each other comes off as cruel. The ending feels anticlimatic, with the entire universe slowly dispersing into nothingness. Increasing the ‘gravitational constant’ so the universe collapses back into itself at the end would have provided a good feeling of closure.
Holy Hell what does it take to get a competent judge around here? Were they even looking at the same universe?
Cruel? I guarantee that no one else in this contest came up with a natural order that gave rise to an intelligence like that. Their struggle to overcome their animal instincts is the whole point. I don’t know how I could have made that any more obvious. How could the judges not get that?
And not everyone wants their universe to end with an explosion. I mean, come on, aren’t we tired of that by now? As the energy-people fade away one by one, until the last intelligence in the universe drifts into a dreamless sleep — that’s gold right there. Or maybe they thought that was cruel, too.
I’d like to see any of these so-called judges make a universe even half as good at this one. I guess I should have known what to expect, though; after all if they were as talented as I am they wouldn’t need a job judging a contest.
My universe is perfect! Flawless! I mean, for starters, just look at the way the physical laws work together. All my friends agree with me! Anyone who can’t see that is obviously not worthy to view my masterpiece in the first place.
FTFA: And not everyone wants their universe to end with an explosion.
Not with a bang but with a whimper.
HA! awesome.
What made you think of this?!?!
The one judge counted you off for dark matter and dark energy instead of noir matter/noir energy. Movie people, sheesh.
I was thinking using God as my main character in the round 2 prompt (which I will write to eventually), and while I mulled that over my mind turned to a guy’s blog elsewhere where he was whining about his score, which reminded me of me whining about my score previously. (Although in my defense I always found a lesson to take from the criticism. That other guy… not so much.)
Energy Noir! There’s more than you think…