All the Guest Poems
Here are all he poems submitted by you, the denizens of the Muddleverse (with a couple of my own snuck in). It does not include poems that are too tall to fit in the header, unfortunately. Those are still languishing back in the legacy comment system, more or less lost. So it goes. If you remember writing a poem that’s not here, I’d love to hear about it. With a couple of key words I can probably dig it up.
The poems here are in the order they were added to the database, not necessarily the order they were written. I’m thinking of randomizing them instead. Or! Maybe I can allow people to vote for poems they particularly like, and have those rise to the top. I’ll look into that, but it sounds like a lot of work.
Enjoy!
Bacon oh bacon
Bacon bacon oh bacon
Love in five letters
I worked my whole life
Well, most of it I think -
and now I drink beer
there I sat
brokenhearted
tried to ’sweet’
but javascript only farted.
Croquet ball flies high
Invisible tufts of weeds
Wicket does not laugh
looks like distraction
and a fraction of action
kept me from makin'
my haiku on bacon
Ninjas in haiku
awesome blog widget thingy
entertainment now
you wonder what’s next
Babybel replies only
“none of your cheese wax”
muddled ramblings
now triggers the net filter
warn the libraries!
having too much fun
on his throne in his castle
sexually secure
his latest entry
coffee spurting thru my nose
I am awake now
Bats flutter and scoff
"Who're these lard-butts with white breasts?
We're the real ninjas!"
Ninja Pony Fights
Fearsome Blur of Black and White
Penguins Are Pirates
So she wants penguins.
Penguins is what she will get.
She may regret it.
As for a “shatgun,”
just have a little coffee
wear eye protection
who’s that hiding there
squirrely joe in the tree tops
laughs and throws his nuts
It all started with
Hiding Hostel's lame dir's name
Squirrely talked of fryin
Funkmaster G-Force
Whom could the name be hiding
Dead squirrels tell no tails
Feel the eyes on me
Whom could they be coming from
Scruffy man o'er yon
If you like eggs over easy.
gettin caught in the rain.
If you’re not into disco.
you eat eggs with champagne.
A quick trip to Spain
Good seats on a really cheap plane
Get that Passport stamped!
Roma so much time
Left once blank by the oven
The clocks gravity
CSS Shadows
Rounding out changes anew
Hearing Random Quacks
Intrigued by metaphor
finding too neat surfaces a bore
in quiet clutter I ponder
the man over yonder
and else it is sinks could be for
Haloscan
lets me down
comments are
not to be found
Windows Explorer
Compatibility Mode
a lie or a joke?
A truck o waiting
Stopped near, and still far from hope
can't find a pivo
not one syllable
can stand between me and mine
when i'm standing still
Time to save the day
Bases loaded, but two outs
Hollandsworth Home Run
Ivan, take two, spins
hits Texas, splashes Port Arthur.
Drought relief? Maybe.
rain drops bash the glass
violence on my windshield
terror in brake lights
To my NeighborInternet freedom
Clovis hotel's modern world
Producer's WiFi
here an ant with wings
there salmon at river's source
no more to live fora human gets old
hot flashes night sweats mood swings
ain't giving up yet
Yodelay hee hoo.
Yodel-effin'lay hee hoo.
Yodelay hee hoo.
Ahhrrgh ye scurvey dog!
Once yer head be full o' grog,
All ye hopes be flogged !
"It's all for me grog..."
Damn you catchy sea shanty
Three days in my head!
Pork belly futures
My plate the fulcrum of Time
Ghosts of Breakfast Past
you must know, eighster
all's fair in love and bacon
would you like seconds?
why bacon, you ask?
why do we draw breath each day?
why does the sun rise?
this one time in france
i did bad things with bacon
that i won't forget
Salty crunchy good
The dog tackles me everyday
Ouch that’s not bacon dog
When you're feeling blue
Let some bacon in haiku
fix what's ailin' you
eight eight eight eight eight
dancing infinities pause
twenty-three times two
commemorating visit 88,888
She was born as Meredith and she
died as Meredith, but she had
too much Lola in her to let go.
an epitaph for Feeding the Eel's Meredith Baxter
Gambrini puissant
pissant's beer of choice Bud Light
sorry for the drain.
answering the puissant pissant challenge
squirrels in the news
rat squirrel is not extinct
be very afraid
pL demagogue
Believes gods live in bottles
Holy Gambrini
(submitted in Excel file)
Discouragingly
Characteristically
Undemocratic
(submitted in Excel file)
Juxtapositionhaiku on spreadsheets
medium of choice for all
poet C.P.A.s
(submitted in Excel file)
darker than amber
pleasantly hoppy finish
nutty nuances
from his haiku beer quiz
pale golden color
colder bottom fermenting
crisp and refreshing
from his haiku beer quiz
top fermentation
special carmelized malts
between dark and pale
from his haiku beer quiz
found on draft in pubs
normally dry and hoppy
extra or special
from his haiku beer quiz
heavily hopped
made for lengthy sea voyage
extra alcohol
from his haiku beer quiz
strong malty winter
doppel is extra potent
name means billy goat
from his haiku beer quiz
eureka! you're HERE
Sexy silly sudsucker
you're my kind of guy
Road tales and cold beer
International intrigue
Sexy's a state of mind
dancing careless grace
the ball dropping into his glove is fate
nothing can shake his connection to the game
passion and steel strings
resonate in my being
show me the way home
One vote I do cast
Vain to convince the poll
Alas, that damn squirrel
screw this haiku crap
you can't tell us what to write
you don't own us, man
there once was a jerk named McSweede
who wore underwear of fine tweed
it scratched and it itched
"I do this," he bitched,
"to lend refinement to my seed."
Grilled Nightshade
A bit on the side of black
No more morning breath.
Is it done yet?
Why not?
I want to read it already.
Googling Crazy
Nothing here I care much for
Internet will help
a dream of angels
that our selves will never meet
stories and read wine
zebra lighter lights
a puff of flame vanishes
contrast leaves some space
one word that leaves us
speaches of laughing timber
cant find the way home
Had to drive all day
Historic Weed was calling
Lost, dude, weed was gone
squirrel attacked them
HUMANS WILL LEARN THEIR LESSON
Squirrels attack soon
Fluffed-up white squirrels
removing evil humans
one nut at a time
We are very small
The blue Earth is very big
We are molecules
Obliviously,
Dubyuh plods his petty course,
A puissant pissant.
answering the puissant pissant challenge
A romantic scene
"Trombone", "Autumn Leaves", moan, plunger
Fire the arranger
in response to a challenge to use a search string in a poem.
Retirement lurks
My Assignment: Timbuktu
It's only nine years...
Man the battlements
Barbarians at the gates
Spam fries in hot oil
Imaginative
Reprioritization --
Congratulations
Pause for reflection
Mid-sentence. In fractured phrase
Our leader drones on
Fogbank defeats sun
The yard will dry in April
Moss daubs the shingles
Amber chile beer
Mild burn with notes of compost
Red Ant - nasty stuff
Ninja squirrels lurk
Magenta level rising
Where is Infra-man?
Pit-black, hopped to hell
Double-malted, made up short
Tongue Stomp, do your worst
Bass rattles my bones
No clue what notes I'm playing
Why do we sound-check?
Three Sunday Church Shows
Screaming gospel to Handel
Jaw aches, small horn shrieks
There once was a fellow named Jerry
Whose blog contained comments lit'rary
He sat on his sunscreen
His upholstery became unclean
And the albedo of his butt remained extraordinary
I do not want green eggs over easy
I do not want them dry or greasy
I do not want them Jer over There
In Prague or Berlin or Trafalgar Square
Jumping off the path
Stories bubbling within
Cry for attention
stacking rock upon rock
the stones bring Balance
geophysical bonsai
hubris hyperbole haiku
I am hotter than
10,000 George Clooneys
listen for the blogcomm's voice
echoes in a deaf man's tomb
elevator ocelot rutabaga
One haiku for you
cows haiku in moo
do you haiku?
seahawks' season spiked
ref has blown the bad whistle
janitor sweeps day-old nachos
supermodel with chocolate eyes
eyes chocolate taboo
breath whistles between her teeth
There once was a Jer in a Miata
Who traveled top-down through Nevada
He liked to drive naked
but his thing was half baked
by not putting sunscreen where he oughta
It takes a village
to care for a blog
what are those haiku rules, again?
We know there is sun
The weatherman tells us so
We cannot prove it
Whiskey and Coffee
before the morning mist fades
and I leave for work
went to your website
looking for your novel writer
shit the site is down
Supercalifrag
ilisticexpiali
dociousnessly
Listen to my cry
Feed me you stupid pink thing
Here comes a hairball
translated by Brian
Consumerism
Close on the heels of freedom
I miss the cold war
(like that could have come from anyone else)
Now Jesse, you ask
"Hey, how do you do Haiku?"
Oh five seven five
It's raining again
Get the wife and kids indoors
SoCal drivers suck
I-5 Trucker's route
89 is scenic fine
Weed is misnomer
If this site looks odd,
non-compliant browsers suck
friend, you must upgrade
Bearded writer seeks
cute bartendrix to share a
drafty Czech garret...
summarizing my life in three short lines
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Heeeey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Friction starts a fire
the road calls
nothing like a good beer
I have fallen again
many people, come running
to help me up
alarmist post-it
three inch squares define my day
i need more donuts
titled 'ode to my day job'
thwartation's lament
ninety-two thousand and four
I'll get you next time
moments wondering
do you pause and calculate
what time it is here?
Cuttle-fish man blinks
changes color and is gone
all but his blushing
Friggin one point oh
Taking words one to zero
countless margin notes
celebrating the 1.0 release of Jer''s Novel Writer
a line of pain stretched
till stretchers waited for the
magic sponge to work
Latest ratio clogged
Verbal birthing floats farther
New 'kus by fuego
Nicely kneeded dough
Roiling fatty baguet
Boil the Bastard
sharing his potato dumpling recipe
Mein Gott! August Twoth.
Celebrations will commence
Even if unnamed
Haiku for a Goth JerAll Black Hawaiian
Tucked into baggy black shorts
Black paint for the feet
Look! July the twoth
Pyrotechnics prepared
Ready the Fire
Ah, yes the power
Who's not weatherman now
Feel the roaring wind
rejection slips fall
freed soft petals of flowers
you smell like a rose
fridge so magically
bursting beers before bygones
until the worlds unite
You, my leader are
Truly a droning droner
Feathers tickling
Selfless service, but
Placed in vomit by a thread
Nihilist will fade.
The gods of beer call
for those who choose to listen
March 2 it, for me
Sun battled snowfall
frozen monuments drip gold
wind sweeps cloudless sky
Couches filled with folk
Cinquo de Mayo is here
Which way to the beer?
Ought too ought too eve
A list that never stops growing
Dang, when's the weekend?
Several shades of brown
carpet, bar, booths, patrons, beer
american pie
Monkey vs Squirrel
Over yonder the blood runs
Squirrel takes the year
Rock goes here, oops, no
there should be more rocks around
here, my kingdom rocks
Six neat but not clean
jealous ice watched glass caged
just sip for pete's sake
Time is once again
Swifter than the heart felt beat
Light lingers till late
Get out of my way
Blood filled bag of rodent fur
indifferential
Understanding lost
censorship reigns undaunted
edited by Jer
A puppet count counts
zero one to one zero
laughter wells within
My poem is gone
all lost to ones and zeroes
words cannot return
barking dog flashes
Shutter clicking one more time
Photons fly and bounce
Run, squirrels, run!
Cavort gaily desperately beneath the murderous wheels
Nuts
Up north, Alaska
Why go to such a cold place?
Bill must be insane.
The answer is not
in having cake or eating
but in free choosing
It's snowing now
Lots of pretty winter fluff
Then it melts, makes mud
out from the blue sky
blinding slashing flash of light
cracks on my flagpole
Their cover is blown
Squirrels out to get me
They got my husband
house undefended
squirrels attack in rainstorm
doorbell will not stop
Driving humans crazy
Suicide Squirrel Death Cult
Makes us all suffer
beauty but crazy
Rio Arriba County
my slice of heaven
quit job, sold house, drove
looking for america
finding mostly bars
It's phrases like 'looking for america' that make being lost sound cool.
As a training exercise I’m going to look into coding up a poem submission form, but for now if you put a poem in any comment anywhere, expect to find it on this page eventually.
Trivia: At this time three poems mention ninjas.
Awesome!
The haiku are now sorted by date. The only problem: I don’t know the right dates for most of them. I did find three more poems in old comments as I was tagging old episodes, however.
Ninjas in haiku/
awesome blog widget thingy/
entertainment now.
looks like distraction
and a fraction of action
kept me from makin’
my haiku on bacon
You, sir, are in the rotation! With style!
I worked my whole life
Well, most of it I think -
and now I drink beer