Hollywood Nights in Prague

Today began the shooting on fuego’s Top Secret movie project. They didn’t mention to fuego at the start the Top Secretness of the movie, which led to an ugly moment for the wayward Second AD, but now things are safely under wraps again and you can rest assured that none of the details of the film will be revealed herein.

There will be a few details about the kickoff party, to which fuego graciously invited me. I met lots of cool film people, mostly on the production side, and I enjoyed myself quite a bit. When we first arrived a very pretty girl greeted fuego warmly, and when her hints went completely ignored there was no ruboff on me whatsoever. It was only a matter of moments before she was being groped by the director and the director’s brother. The director, who I believe fuego now refers to as “Barbara” (rhymes with knee-high sloth), had his name on the back of his t-shirt and I think the shirt had his picture on the front but I may be wrong about that. It was dark and beer was free.

After Barbara (rhymes with knee-high sloth) and the girl disappeared for a while the director returned and came over and sat where fuego and I were hanging with some other folks. Actually, he didn’t sit, there was a couch along one side of the table and he sacked out on it. Maybe sacked out isn’t the right word, either — his posture wasn’t sleepy but he was very relaxed. He didn’t sit, he didn’t sack out, what he did was lounge, and he did a damn fine job of it. We talked for a bit and he seemed like a good guy, considering his name is Barbara (no offense, Mom). He even seemed genuinely interested when I said I was a writer, but his interest waned when I could cite no major publishing credits. By then he’d partially opened his fly and had his hand down his pants, making extensive and protracted adjustments. I found it difficult to converse in those circumstances.

I met another girl who fuego told me was the girlfriend of another friend of his. I’m guessing that won’t be the case much longer, although I suppose that depends on the sort of relationship they have. At one point, briefly, I thought she was hitting on me. I convinced myself that couldn’t be the case and at any rate I wouldn’t do something that could put fuego in a bad spot with his buddy. When she started hitting on the other guy there was no doubt. Sorry, Mortimer (rhymes with hairy).

This pseudonym thing is fun!

My mistake was going to Roma while I waited for fuego to finish work. It’s not that I had very many beers at Roma, and I didn’t have that many at the party, but combined, it was just too much. As far as I know I only made a complete ass of myself with one other person, but the potential number of people who are now saying, “I like fuego (rhymes with pill) but his brother (rhymes with dairy) is a jerk” is pretty large. I think for the most part I was fine, but that one chick was annoyed, if not downright cheesed. We won’t go into it. Other people were still smiling at me at the end of the evening, and at least I kept my hand out of my pants. And everyone else’s pants, for that matter.

Luckily it was about two and a half kilometers home from the second bar; a walk through the cool predawn air was just what I needed.

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9 thoughts on “Hollywood Nights in Prague

  1. This segment is confusing, but I was satisfied that Barbara may be a masculine name for an eastern European director. Especially if you rrrrolll the Rs and speak in a basso slavic accent.

    Bahhhddd-beee-rrraaa, the famouso Czech director.

    Then I kept saying to myself, over and over, “knee-high sloth, knee-high Sloth? wha the f*??”

    In my head I took a stab at names that rhyme with knee-high sloth and decided on “Eli Roth.”

    I’ve never heard of an Eli Roth, but I went over to the imdb database and rolled the dice. BAM! on the first get go I come up with a whacked director by that name. I’m a genius, next I will be working on decoder rings. The director Eli Roth is someone who’s biography sounds eggsaktly like the type of dude who’d play with his bratwurst at a party. And he has a brother in the biz. What a nut, I encourage everybody to go read the imdb entry. Has anybody seen Cabin Fever? Is it all that? The entry says that right now he is busy filming Hostel. I could see such a title being filmed in Czech.

    So I wonder, how long will my comment last? Will Jer be forced to eliminate this if fuego’s job is in jeapordy?

  2. F-G-F, it’s important to remember that Hostel takes place in Slovenia. I can’t tell you how I know that – people just talk, word gets around. If they were to film it somewhere else, they would have to keep that Top Secret.

    If you’ve never heard of Barbara (rhymes with knee-high sloth) before, I’m very impressed with your ability to dig shit up.

    On a totally unrelated note, Cabin Fever was a tremendous success, fiscally. Less than two mil in, more than forty mil out. Not a bad day at the office. Numbers could be completely wrong; I got the info from fuego. You know, idle conversation.

  3. OK, there must be something wrong. The line at the bottom of the blog entry says there are three comments. But I click to read them, and there are none. I shut the window, click again, and still there are none.

  4. Ah, now that I get “Comment Successfully Posted,” I can read the rest.

    Well, Jer, you did say, “Beta testing new features — let me know if you have any problems.”

    Meanwhile, my anti-virus program has informed me that it has downloaded new updates and I need to restart my computer. Be back shortly.

  5. OK, now I *KNOW* I’m going crazy. I left a comment on the previous entry, which at the time didn’t have any, and I left two comments on this entry, which at the time had three that were invisible until my first post posted successfully. I went away to restart my computer at the prompting of my anti-virus software, and now that I’ve come back, both entries claim to have no responses — and none are visible. What’s going on?

  6. Aha. Now that I’ve successfully posted, all the entries are visible again, at least on this thread. Let me see about the others.

  7. I really have no control over the performance of Haloscan’s servers. I’m not even sure I’m a beta tester anymore.

  8. You’re not in control. I’m not in control. You know, I get a feeling Haloscan’s not in control either. I still can’t post responses to your main page; I have to come to categories to do so.

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