Perfect Marketing

I’m sitting in a bar right now, pooping out NaNoWords, and Thursday Night Football is happening all around me. Another day I will tell you how I personally cursed the Oakland Raiders, and how I’m not sorry and you shouldn’t expect the curse to be lifted any time soon. But not tonight. This episode is about a television ad.

The product was Duluth Fire Hose Pants (or something like that). It was a simple animated affair where a guy in non-firehose pants gets his leg torn to shreds when he fails to catch a wild boar that someone offscreen threw to him. Butterfingers!

The scene is then reenacted with the man (who vaguely resembles Bret Favre) wearing the proper indestructible pants. The wild boar deflects harmlessly off his leg, and our firehose-pants-wearing pal picks the vicious animal up and sends it back.

I want those pants. Seriously. I want those pants – as long as they extend the indestructible ethic to the pockets.

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5 thoughts on “Perfect Marketing

  1. As a multiple-decades-long friend of yours, one who is familiar with your “wear shorts until it’s frostbite weather” ethos, and as a long-time customer of Duluth Trading Company, allow me to offer this. The Firehose-fabric pants are seriously tough, and the company offers a lifetime wear warranty. Seriously. If you ever wear them out, Duluth will replace them, free of charge.

    The trade-off is this: The dang things are thick, heavy, and hot. I have a use for the two pair I own — they get pulled out for work shifts at the nursery in December, January, and February. Have I mentioned that the only sources of heat at the nursery are two electric space-heaters in the office, which is completely detached from the retail space?

    If you plan on investing in Firehose pants and taking up boar-dodging, I strongly suggest you move north. Like, to Duluth.

    • So I just looked and Duluth makes firehose cargo shorts. Were I not wearing some pretty rugged army surplus cargo shorts right now, I’d be all over them.

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