Warranty

Most software you get comes with a carefully worded non-warranty. For instance, every time I launch my debugger, it comes up with the message “There is no warranty. Type ‘warranty’ for details.”

I’m not as keen on this one, as I intend to stand behind my work, but I can’t afford to be held responsible if someone does something stupid and loses their life’s work. Also note that I tweaked the EULA a bit (see previous post).

Oh, yeah, one more thing. Everyone’s doing it and I guess there must be a reason for that. THERE IS NO WARRANTY! Jer’s Novel Writer (JNW) is sold as-is and once YOU make the decision to put it on your computer you accept responsibility for whatever happens. Anything I might say or might have said that sounded like a warranty is not one. Sure, you could take me out and get me all liquored up and I’ll probably say whatever you want to hear (and you’re welcome to try), but sorry, Chumley, that won’t count. Anyone claiming to represent Jer’s Software Hut who says there’s a warranty is a big, fat liar.

Furthermore, if I say something like, “Hm, I think Jer’s Novel Writer is just what you need!” don’t go getting cheesed if you later discover that JNW was in fact not just what you needed. (I’ll bet you won’t be cheesed, though.)

I’d like to, but I just can’t promise that you’ll never lose work. No one can make a promise like that. Stuff happens. If through some bizarre set of circumstances your computer is damaged, you will have my sympathy but that’s all. This software was created for writing novels, not running space shuttles or guiding smart bombs or anything else where someone could get hurt. It says something about our society that I even have to point that out, but there you go.

I know it’s going to happen. I’m going to get a call from someone who’s been working on a project for months or years, and lightning will strike while he’s saving and his file will be lost. He’ll contact me and I’ll ask him “When was the last time you backed up your work?” and he’ll say “Never” and I’ll say “Oh. Well, you’re screwed.”

You are your own best warranty. Back up your work often. I’ll put some tips on how to do that at JersSoftwareHut.com.

Enough of all this technical jargon and legal jibber-jabber! Click “Accept” and let’s get started!

———
Again, not the final wording. I like the “sorry, Chumley” part the best. As I have now also indicated in the EULA entry, I am appealing for reasonableness rather than air-tight legal protection. I also think that by making it fun and relatively short that I greatly increase the chances that people will read it, and accept the software in the spirit in which it is offered.

Great Googly-Moogly!

I’d take a picture, but I’d have to get out of bed. Use your imagination.

Addendum:
OK, now it’s snowing pretty hard, and I’m out of bed. Your imagination is no longer required.
Additional Addendum:
The snow let up pretty quickly yesterday. the sun came out and the light dusting on everything quickly vanished. Still, it was pretty nice. This morning I slept a little later than usual, and when I opened my eyes to say good morning to lake and mountains, what did I see but several inches of snow covering everything. Well, that got me up in a hurry.

Winter Wonderland I grew up in the mountains, so I’ve seen snow in May before. Part of me is saying, “Jerry, what the heck’s the big deal?” But it is a big deal. The way the sun is shining off the snow-laden branches, the way the Internet is down so I can’t work, all these things make life special.

I think the best part about it is the surprise. Having lived in San Diego for so long, I pay no attention whatsoever to weather reports. So when I woke up this morning to discover I had been transported to a winter wonderland in my sleep, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. I’m so stupid giddy over the snow I went out in my bare feet for some of the pictures (photos). The picture I’m featuring here doesn’t have the bright sunshine, but I like the composition.

My Internet connection here is relayed over the lake by a satellite dish (although I suppose it’s not a satellite dish if no satellite is involved), and apparently the connection is quite vulnerable to poor weather conditions. Unfortunately, now that you’re reading this, I’m back connected to the outside world and that means I’m currently struggling to concentrate on work when what I really want to do is go out and play.

Ironically, with the Internet down, I would be able to concentrate on work much better, but the tools I’m using have been specifically designed to not work when they can’t connect to the mother ship, for no reason other than corporate paranoia. Ironically, anyone with actual malicious intent could hack the tools pretty easily, but that’s not how I plan to spend my day.

I’m going on a walk.

Venus

Venus.jpg

I had a friend named Venus once. Her father thought that was a feminine name. He went into the hospital to have surgery done to try to save the sight in one of his eyes. They operated on the wrong eye; now he’s blind.

Venus told me that in college she had been engaged to a guy named Jerry Mars. If they had married she would have been Venus Mars.

Red lights, green lights, strawberry wine,
A good friend of mine, follow the stars,
Venus and Mars are alright tonight.

-Paul McCartney

Sam’s Place

Location: Sam’s Place, Lake Tahoe, NV(map)
Miles: 1891.3

My usual table was taken when I came in, so I’m sitting with my back to most of the action at the bar. The bartender when I came in may be the boss, but I haven’t dealt with her before. As far as she’s concerned, my name’s “Buddy”. She did make a point of remembering where I sat last time.

The person sitting at “my” table was Norm. I’m reasonably sure I met him at a bachelor party once. I didn’t want to go through the false camaraderie we would both have to adopt if I introduced myself, though. I was pretty much a wallflower at that bachelor party anyway, except when we were playing poker. The groom, also my host currently, while not rolling in filthy lucre is doing all right for himself, as are most of his friends. Craig and I were there because our wives were friends of the bride. I think they reduced the money at the poker table dramatically to accommodate us. So while they were playing for what felt to them like monopoly money, to Craig and me it felt like bigtime gambling.

Norm has now left, and I just moved back to my usual table, the faint sizzle of the outward-facing neon in my right ear. It’s important when regularizing to establish patterns that bartenders and wait staff can recognize. Becky just started her shift, and she didn’t use my name, which I told her yesterday. Big setback. I’m going to try to sneak a picture of her now… crap. I jiggled it. Jiggled%20it.jpg

This isn’t a bad bar at all. Most everyone knows everyone else, so there’s plenty of stories to tell. It’s a safe assumption that some mutual friend did something stupid or outrageous lately.

Normally when I come to a bar I fire up Jer’s Novel Writer, not iBlog. I can concentrate very well on my fiction in a bar, much better than I can at home. At home there’s too many other things I could do, like check one more time to see if anyone’s hit my blog, or work, or (when I had a yard) yardwork. Then there’s the laundry that needs doing, the email, the bills, blah, blah, blah. You might have people shouting and laughing in a bar, but external distractions are much easier to shut out than internal ones.

Yes, sometimes someone will come up to me and say without a trace of irony, “Hey! Hey! How do you concentrate in here?”

The peak of my bar-writing career came two novembers ago for NaNoWriMo , when I took the motto “30 days, 30 bars, 1 novel.” I’ll tell you more about that another time, when I rescue the photographic evidence from my computer that is packed away. It was not a sustainable lifestyle.

Oddly, I am finding the bar to be a big distraction when it is the bar I’m writing about. The theme from Shaft is playing on the jukebox. Normally that would just be background noise, but now I find myself wondering, “Should I write about that? Would that be interesting?” It probably won’t be until I get home that I will be able to write about the bar.

beer%2c%20laptop%2c%20bar.jpg I’ll give you a few facts about the place before I give up. The bar itself is of a rich-grained wood and has a nice curvaceousness to it. There are a couple of separate seating areas. One has a fireplace which I’m sure is very popular when the snow is several feet deep outside. Another has bookshelves. The bookshelves have actual books on them. The floors are rough wood, the cieling in the main bar area is wood with large wood beams, and there is wood paneling behind the bar. The wood is light enough that the bar does not feel too dark. I like wood.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fire up JNW.

Addendum: This is a photo of Becky pouring a beer for me after she said, “Jerry, do you want another?” I would have said no, but she said my name. ARS is right on track.

A Lap Around The Lake

It was a very good decision. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the squirrels were behaving normally. I headed north from Zephyr Cove and around the lade counterclockwise, a trip of about 80 miles all told. Not really that much of note happened, I passed the Ponderosa (Home of TV’s Bonanza! Yee-haw!) I passed a ski resort that with a sign that said “Open From Top To Bottom” – I know there’s still snow up here but I have to be a little skeptical.

On the California side the views aren’t as spectacular, but there are more houses right on the water – some of them pretty damn amazing. Emerald Bay was indeed beautiful. I stopped to look around and take some pics. Soon after I pulled out of the vista point, I found myself on one of the most spectacular 200 meters of road I’ve ever seen. The road went along a ridge surrounded by water on every side (map). There was no way to stop – the edge of the pavement was the edge of the world. Sky above, water below, some forest in between, and a ribbon of asphalt seemingly suspended in space. At the end the road dove into some nice switchbacks.

I passed a bar with a homemade giant beer mug for its sign, but I didn’t get a picture. Sorry about that. I bet they had a blast making it.

It is also remarkable how patient the drivers are on those roads. People may be going slowly, but the person behind will hang back a polite distance and putt along with the rest of the crowd.

At the end I pulled into Sam’s Place, but that’s another entry.